Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption while others think that is individual's responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat v.5

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption while others think that is individual's responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat v. 5
Undoubtedly, over consumption of sugary foods is detrimental to our well being. Consequently, it is thought by some that the lawmakers should be responsible to curb the intake of sugars by the people. Others, however, believe that it is the individual's duty to reduce the quantity of sugars he or she consumes. In my opinion, I consider that the government is in the best position to curb this trend because they have the authority to enact strict laws on company producing high sugar content products. On the one hand, some people have suggested that government should be responsible to benchmark people's sugar intake and I agree. Firstly, legislators can impose contingent laws on production companies that manufacture sugar related products. This is because the problem of eating too much sugar starts with the companies that produces them. For instance, NAFDAC, a food regulatory body in Nigeria, provided a guide for the maximum sugar level to be included in each product before release to the public. Furthermore, if lawmakers allow the people to consume much sugar, it will result in health issues such as diabetes and obesity. In the long run, treating these problems could result in allocating more funds into the health sector which could be invested in other sectors. On the other hand, other people opine that it is the individual's duty to restrict the amount of sugar to eat. The reason for this is that people can decide to consume whatever he or she chooses. They have access to the products, either in shops, at workplace or at school. So, to purchase and eat such products is their decision. Moreover, they feel the pains of any consequences that might result from taking too much sugar. Hyperglyceamia, for instance, is associated with frequent rigour, excessive sweating and polyuria especially at night. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I believe that government should impose precautionary measures in controlling people's consumption of sugars in order to avoid spending extra fund in the health sector.
Undoubtedly
, over consumption of sugary foods is detrimental to our
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
.
Consequently
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the lawmakers should be responsible to curb the intake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Others,
however
, believe that it is the individual's duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
he or she consumes. In my opinion, I consider that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is in the best position to curb this trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the authority to enact strict laws on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
producing high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
content products.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have suggested that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be responsible to benchmark
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
, legislators can impose contingent laws on production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that manufacture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the problem of eating too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that produces them.
For instance
, NAFDAC, a food regulatory body in Nigeria, provided a guide for the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
level to
be included
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
release to the public.
Furthermore
, if lawmakers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to consume much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, it will result in health issues such as diabetes and obesity. In the long run, treating these problems could result in allocating more funds into the health sector which could
be invested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that it is the individual's duty to restrict the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
to eat.
The reason for this is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can decide to consume whatever he or she chooses. They have access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, either in shops, at workplace or at school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and eat such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is their decision.
Moreover
, they feel the pains of any consequences that might result from taking too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hyperglyceamia
,
for instance
,
is associated
with frequent
Possible spelling mistake. 'rigour' is British English.
rigour
, excessive sweating and
Possible spelling mistake found.
polyuria
especially
at night.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose precautionary measures in controlling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
in order to avoid spending extra fund in the health sector.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people's sugar consumption while others think that is individual's responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts