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In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people in prison. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people in prison. with this opinion? v. 1
Day by day, the rate of crime in the world is increasing rapidly. Some people believe that the most effective methods for reducing crime are the police force and jails. However, others think that the best way to fight rising levels of crime is to address the underlying factors such as poor education and poverty. A new study by the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research (BOCSAR) has found that increasing police numbers can reduce crime. For this reason, I strongly disagree as I believe by having more police on the street and putting more people into prison undeniably will reduce the number of crime. Firstly, criminals will not be so aggressive in committing crime as the police is everywhere to directly tackle the crime. Criminals scared to commit the crime especially when the police are around as they cannot commit the crime easily. Police will always patrol around the area so, the number of crime will decrease. For example, by locating every street with at least one police in residential area, it definitely make the criminals feel unsafe to do the crime which means they are not going to do the crime freely. Thus, by having more police, it definitely reduce the crime as the criminals are not free to do so. On top of that, additional police can arrest more offenders leading to incapacitation or cessation of offending among targeted offenders. The reason why the crime out there is increasing is because we cannot arrest the main culprit of the crime and the criminals normally is in multiple. So, this additional police can help to arrest all the criminals at one time without letting the other criminals get away. For instance, the robbery in the street which the felon can easily run away from anybody as there are many streets around. If there is an adequate number of police, surely, the criminal will be arrested. Therefore, it is worth to have more police on the street rather than attack the cause of the crime to solve the numbers of crime. Besides that, punishment like putting the criminals in the prison will make them think twice before committing the crime. Living in the prison is not same as living out there where you are free to go anywhere, to eat anything and to do whatever you like to do as long as it will not bothering other people. Prison can be compared as living in a hell where everything is limited. Normally you need to spend more than a year in the prison. Your life will be wasted in prison. In the case of the misdemeanour which includes a fine of no more than $1, 000 and a sentence of imprisonment of no more than 12 months, the theft offense has to bear such cost and waste his time in the prison. So, it is important to just put the offender in the prison to reduce the number of crime. In a nutshell, I think we need to be hard on criminals. There are also sinner coming from rich people committing to such crimes like not paying taxes. Hence, I do not think we can successfully reduce crime only by focusing on the causes of crime.
Day by day, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the world is increasing
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the most effective methods for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
force and jails.
However
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the best way to fight rising levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is to address the underlying factors such as poor education and poverty. A new study by the NSW Bureau of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
Statistics and Research (
Possible spelling mistake found.
BOCSAR
) has found that increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For this reason
, I
strongly
disagree as I believe by having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
and putting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
undeniably
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of crime.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
aggressive in committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
is everywhere to
directly
tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
scared to commit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
especially
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
are around as they cannot commit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
easily
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Police
will always patrol around the area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
will decrease.
For example
, by locating every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
with at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
in residential area, it definitely
Did you mean "makes"?
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
feel unsafe to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
which means they are not going to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
freely
.
Thus
, by having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
, it definitely
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are not free to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

On top of that
, additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
can arrest more offenders leading to incapacitation or cessation of offending among targeted offenders. The reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
out there is increasing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we cannot arrest the main culprit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
normally
is in multiple.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to arrest all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
at one time without letting the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away.
For instance
, the robbery in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
which the felon can
easily
run away from anybody as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streets
around. If there is an adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
,
surely
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
will
be arrested
.
Therefore
, it is worth to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
street
rather
than attack the cause of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of crime.

Besides
that, punishment like putting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is not same as living out there where you are free to go anywhere, to eat anything and to do whatever you like to do as long as it will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "bother"
bothering
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prison
can
be compared
as living in a hell where everything
is limited
.
Normally
you need to spend more than a year in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. Your life will
be wasted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. In the case of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
misdemeanour
which includes a fine of no more than $1, 000 and a sentence of imprisonment of no more than 12 months, the theft offense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
bear such cost and waste his time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
put the offender in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of crime.

In a nutshell, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. There are
also
sinner coming from rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
committing to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like not paying taxes.
Hence
, I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we can
successfully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by focusing on the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
74Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people in prison. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
538 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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