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Traffic congestion is a serious problem in many countries around the world. Describe the situation in your home country and suggest some solutions. v.1

Traffic congestion is a serious problem in many countries around the world. Describe the situation in your home country and suggest some solutions. v. 1
In the modern industrialized world, as the number of people is increasing, it brings more and more problems with it and one of the foremost issues that overpopulation lead to is traffic congestion. It becomes to pose a serious threat to both people and the environment especially in megacities. This essay will discuss some of the problems that traffic congestion is caused in my country and will provide possible solutions to them. First and foremost, the principle issue that a huge number of population and as a result, endless traffic jam causes is people’s stress level. Millions of people stuck in the traffic for hours and hours almost everyday and especially in the mornings so that it leads people to be more stressful in their daily life. As a result of this, if it is considered that the main proportion of commuters in my country is workers, their work performances are affected by the stress that they face every working day. Another probable issue that residents of my country, mainly those who live in big cities can confront is losing their valuable time. Nowadays people in my country tend to work much harder and longer in order to provide their family with their meets and as a result, most of them cannot spend so much time with their beloved ones. After tiring and long lasting working day, almost everyone tries to get home as soon as possible and traffic congestion is the thing that hinders it. The first aforementioned issue can be addressed by enhancing roads and providing residents with up to date public transportation so that less people will be using private cars. For this, for example, underground system can be improved by building more stations and more lines. Furthermore, for long term solution, some train systems can be constructed above the ground, to be exact, above car roads so that there will be more place for transportation without traffic jam. Therefore reducing the level of traffic will directly affect people’s mental health. The way forward to the problem of wasting time can be done by companies. To be exact, if lots of companies supply their employees with flexible working hours or telecommuting, there will be much less traffic jam on the roads and more time to spend with family or friends. To sum up, there are several reasons that are caused by traffic congestion and two of them are its negative impact on people’s stress level and time waste. However, with the correct approach of the government and several companies, these problems can be solved successfully.
In the modern industrialized world, as the number of
people
is increasing, it brings more and more
problems
with it and one of the foremost
issues
that overpopulation lead to is
traffic
congestion
. It becomes to pose a serious threat to both
people
and the environment
especially
in
megacities
. This essay will discuss
some of the
problems
that
traffic
congestion
is caused
in my
country
and will provide possible solutions to them.

First
and foremost, the principle
issue
that a huge number of population and
as a result
, endless
traffic
jam causes is
people’s
stress
level. Millions of
people
stuck in the
traffic
for hours and hours almost
everyday
and
especially
in the mornings
so
that it leads
people
to be more stressful in their daily life.
As a result
of this, if it
is considered
that the main proportion of commuters in my
country
is workers, their work performances are
affected
by the
stress
that they face every working day. Another probable
issue
that residents of my
country
,
mainly
those who
live
in
big
cities can confront is losing their valuable
time
. Nowadays
people
in my
country
tend to work much harder and longer in order to provide their family with their meets and
as a result
, most of them cannot spend
so
much
time
with their beloved ones. After tiring and
long lasting
working day, almost everyone tries to
get
home as
soon
as possible and
traffic
congestion
is the thing that hinders it.

The
first
aforementioned
issue
can
be addressed
by enhancing roads and providing residents with up to date public transportation
so
that
less
people
will be using private cars. For this,
for example
, underground system can be
improved
by building more stations and more lines.
Furthermore
, for long term solution,
some
train systems can
be constructed
above the ground, to be exact, above car roads
so
that there will be more place for transportation without
traffic
jam.
Therefore
reducing the level of
traffic
will
directly
affect
people’s
mental health. The way forward to the
problem
of wasting
time
can
be done
by
companies
. To be exact, if lots of
companies
supply their employees with flexible working hours or telecommuting, there will be much less
traffic
jam on the roads and more
time
to spend with family or friends.

To sum up, there are several reasons that
are caused
by
traffic
congestion
and two of them are its
negative
impact on
people’s
stress
level and
time
waste.
However
, with the correct approach of the
government
and several
companies
, these
problems
can
be solved
successfully
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Traffic congestion is a serious problem in many countries around the world. Describe the situation in your home country and suggest some solutions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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