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In order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticize their teachers, but some people think it will result in the loss of respect and discipline in classroom. Discuss both views and give your opini v.2

In order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticize their teachers, but some people think it will result in the loss of respect and discipline in classroom. 2
Juvenile delinquency has been becoming an ever-increasing concern in modern society. Consequently, some people opine those teenagers who have offended seriously deserve punishment in the same way as adults. Personally, I firmly oppose this view because a completely identical penalty is normally unnecessary despite the need for a more lenient one. On the one hand, a proper penalty for every offence, minor or serious, is critically important for criminals, victims and every citizen. First, it is appealing to victims because, to some extent, they need a kind of revenge after suffering a lot. Second, although it may sound contradictory that punishment is beneficial to offenders themselves, actually, a tiny penalty in time usually prevents them from committing heinous crimes, in other words, saving their life eventually. Third, everyone can benefit from a lower crime rate, and all appropriate sorts of retribution can work as a deterrent, warning those potential offenders about up-coming consequences of committing a crime. On the other hand, separate situations between youngsters and adults determine distinct sentences, normally lighter, even though they had the same criminal behaviour as adults. Initially, many teenagers commit crimes because they may not realize what kinds of behaviour are offences in law for the lack of thorough education about preserving students from offending. Similarly, another exclusive reason for young criminals is the immature mind, and those reasons will be eradicated during maturation through suitable education and life experience. Finally, comparing to an adult criminal, it is relatively easier for the rehabilitation of a youth offender because however violent offences they committed, with an alternative form of punishment or a lighter sentence, there would be a much higher possibility for them to develop right moral values and compensate local communities for their guilt. On balance, although it is inevitable that teenagers offenders should also be punished, different measures must be applied for the separate situations between juveniles and adults.
Juvenile delinquency has been becoming an ever-increasing concern in modern society.
Consequently
,
some
people
opine those
teenagers
who have offended
seriously
deserve punishment
in the same way
as
adults
.
Personally
, I
firmly
oppose this view
because
a completely identical penalty is
normally
unnecessary despite the need for a more lenient one.

On the one hand, a proper penalty for every
offence
, minor or serious, is
critically
important
for
criminals
, victims and every citizen.
First
, it is appealing to victims
because
, to
some
extent, they need a kind of revenge after suffering a lot. Second, although it may sound contradictory that punishment is beneficial to
offenders
themselves, actually, a tiny penalty in time
usually
prevents
them from committing heinous crimes,
in other words
, saving their
life
eventually
. Third, everyone can benefit from a lower crime rate, and all appropriate sorts of retribution can work as a deterrent, warning those potential
offenders
about up-coming consequences of committing a crime.

On the other hand
, separate situations between youngsters and
adults
determine distinct sentences,
normally
lighter,
even though
they had the same
criminal
behaviour
as
adults
.
Initially
,
many
teenagers
commit crimes
because
they may not realize what kinds of
behaviour
are
offences
in law for the lack of thorough education about preserving students from offending.
Similarly
, another exclusive reason for young
criminals
is the immature mind, and those reasons will
be eradicated
during maturation through suitable education and life experience.
Finally
, comparing to an adult
criminal
, it is
relatively
easier for the rehabilitation of a youth
offender
because
however
violent
offences
they committed, with an alternative form of punishment or a lighter sentence, there would be a much higher possibility for them to develop right moral values and compensate local communities for their guilt.

On balance, although it is inevitable that
teenagers
offenders
should
also
be punished
,
different
measures
must
be applied
for the separate situations between juveniles and
adults
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticize their teachers, but some people think it will result in the loss of respect and discipline in classroom. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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