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In order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticize their teachers, but some people think it will result in the loss of respect and discipline in classroom. Discuss both views and give your opini v.1

In order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticize their teachers, but some people think it will result in the loss of respect and discipline in classroom. 1
Many people find themselves in situations where they must either accept what life has given them or find a way to move up in the world. Trying to change things for the better is not always easy, I believe that It is necessary to overcome apathy or defeatism and pursue an optimistic path. Most people think to have a stable income and comfort in their life, it is better to put up with fate and accept the current situations. For instance, there are many students who graduated from high-rank universities and they might approve of unexpected low-paid jobs and even they may receive ungrateful treatment at work. By earning a bare subsistence to pay the bills and house rent makes them to embrace their boring job and keeps themselves in a safe zone. But what could be done to change this situation? We all know change is risky and requires a massive effort. Meanwhile, there is no guarantee that the new job can offer more satisfaction. But there are brilliant instances of entrepreneurs, sports athletes and scientists in man4y countries who achieved stunning success, thank for their never give up mindset and perseverance. You should believe yourself at the first step, focus on what you do and continue till the end, it is no matter how long it takes and how many times you fail. Colonel Sanders, owner of KFCs chain restaurants, established the first branch of his restaurant when he was 62 years old and it is clear to everyone what revolution he has made in the food industry. I strongly believe that in most cases, the effort to better situations would be rewarded. In general, although in rare cases, making changes sometimes seems quite dangerous and risky, in the vast majority of instances, not only does this action bring about a great success, but it also helps people identify their potential and live their lives in a more meaningful way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find themselves in situations where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
either accept what life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
them or find a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
up in the world. Trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
things for the better is not always easy, I believe that It is necessary to overcome apathy or defeatism and pursue an optimistic path.

Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to have a stable income and comfort in their life, it is better to put up with fate and accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situations.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students who graduated from high-rank
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
universities and
they might approve of unexpected low-paid jobs and even they may receive ungrateful treatment at work. By earning a bare subsistence to pay the bills and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to embrace their boring job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
themselves in a safe zone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what could
be done
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
this situation?

We all know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is risky and requires a massive effort. Meanwhile, there is no guarantee that the new job can offer more satisfaction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are brilliant instances of entrepreneurs, sports athletes and scientists in man4y countries who achieved stunning success, thank for their never give up mindset and perseverance. You should believe yourself at the
first
step, focus on what you do and continue till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it is no matter how long it takes and how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times you fail. Colonel Sanders, owner of
Possible spelling mistake found.
KFCs
chain restaurants, established the
first
branch of his restaurant when he was 62 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to everyone what revolution he has made in the food industry. I
strongly
believe that
in most cases
, the effort to better situations would
be rewarded
.

In general
, although in rare cases, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
seems quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and risky, in the vast majority of instances, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this action bring about a great success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
identify their potential and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a more meaningful way.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to improve the quality of education, high school students should be encouraged to evaluate and criticize their teachers, but some people think it will result in the loss of respect and discipline in classroom. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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