Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In order to attract more tourists, the government could either improve safety by hiring more police or improve its appearance by repairing old buildings and streets. Which way do you think is more effective? v.1

In order to attract more tourists, the government could either improve safety by hiring more police or improve its appearance by repairing old buildings and streets. Which way do you think is more effective? v. 1
It is a trend that more people have their employers' permission to work at home rather than in offices. I definitely believe that this phenomenon is beneficial to human history because of  the advantages for employees and their employers.  The essay will list two advantages, such as  flexible working schedule and time saving while working at home. To begin with, working at home provides a flexible working schedule  because employees will have access to their tasks online via computers at any time.  For example, writers and journalists are able to compose their articles at home and then summit them via e-mail online. As a result, they can carry out their tasks anytime during the days, basing on their personal working schedules.  Without office time limitation, employees will be able to organize their time more flexibly. Moreover, they will feel more delight because there are no limitation of strict office hours and free monitoring from their supervisors.  As a result, this will lead to more production by happy employees and add more profit for companies. In addition, working at home will help employees to save much time. In the contemporary era,  especially living a metropolis, many people need to spend many hours in commuting daily. For example, many local residents living in General Toronto Area spend 2-3 hours daily in commuting to work because many of them live in a suburban region due to extremely high housing price in downtown Toronto. Therefore, working at home will save much time for them daily so that they will have more time for their personal life or family as well. Saving time and energy to commute to work will help employees to focus on their jobs either. Furthermore, working at home in their private place will enhance employees' efficiency as well. Overall, working at home will not only bring many benefits for certain kinds of employees, but also will enhance the product. Moreover, it also provides a flexible schedules for employees and help employees to save time.  Therefore, allowing employees to work at home will bring positive contribute to companies and societies.
It is a trend that more
people
have their employers' permission to
work
at home
rather
than in offices. I definitely believe that this phenomenon is beneficial to human history
because
of
 
the advantages for
employees
and their employers.  The essay will list two advantages, such as
  
flexible
working
schedule
and
time
saving while
working
at home.

To
begin
with,
working
at home provides a flexible
working
schedule
 
because
employees
will have access to their tasks online via computers at any
time
.  
For example
, writers and journalists are able to compose their articles at home and then summit them via e-mail online.
As a result
, they can carry out their tasks anytime during the days, basing on their personal
working
schedules
.  Without office
time
limitation,
employees
will be able to organize their
time
more
flexibly
.
Moreover
, they will feel more delight 
because
there are no limitation of strict office hours and free monitoring from their supervisors.  
As a result
, this will lead to more production by happy
employees
and
add
more profit for 
companies
.

In addition
,
working
at home will
help
employees
to save much
time
. In the contemporary era,
 
especially
living a metropolis,
many
people
need to spend
many
hours in commuting daily.
For example
,
many
local residents living
in General
Toronto Area spend 2-3 hours daily in commuting to
work
because
many
of them
live
in a suburban region due to
extremely
high housing price in downtown Toronto.
Therefore
,
working
at home will save much time for them daily
so
that they will have more
time
for their personal life or family
as well
. Saving
time
and energy to commute to
work
will
help
employees
to focus on their jobs either.
Furthermore
,
working
at home in their private place will enhance employees' efficiency
as well
.

Overall
,
working
at home will not
only
bring
many
benefits for certain kinds of
employees
,
but
also
will enhance the product.
Moreover
, it
also
provides a flexible
schedules
for
employees
and
help
employees
to save
time
.  
Therefore
, allowing
employees
to
work
at home will bring
positive
contribute to
companies
and societies.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In order to attract more tourists, the government could either improve safety by hiring more police or improve its appearance by repairing old buildings and streets. Which way do you think is more effective? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts