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In most universities students focus on specialized subjects, however some people believe that universities should encourage student to study a wide spectrum of subjects. To what extent you agree or disagree? Give your opinion v.2

In most universities students focus on specialized subjects, however some people believe that universities should encourage student to study a wide spectrum of subjects. Give your opinion v. 2
it is argued that most of graduate go for pursue specific major and pay attention on some subjects that they want to learn deeply. While I have to admit that perspective is accurate to a somewhat extent, I still hold a notion that learning a range of subject bring myriad value benefits for us is much more advantageous. On the one hand, students should pursue specific major, which they prefer and pay attention on some specialized courses. First of all, focusing on one major makes students devoting themselves to that area and seek to become professionals. this I to say, spending time and effort in oder to research one specialized subject makes students extent their knowledge. this is reason why most of universities usually have a lot of majors. At the same time, when students learn their favourite subject, it makes they feel interesting and get higher achievement. On the other hand, others who are in favour of learners should take many subjects have their own justification. As a matter of fact, taking part in more than one specialize subject helps students enhance their knowledge and skills. Particularly, knowing many things is very beneficial for students if they want to specialize in a subject. many subjects are very related in this world and each others, therefore they have to learn different things to broaden horizons. Moreover, taking part in variant courses helps students to make friends and know different types of people. give them more opportunities than other to practices muti-skills such as: teamwork, communication or presentation. Apart from this, studying a wide spectrum of subjects gives students many golden opportunities when they look for occupation. To specify, with wide knowledge, they can take place more position than other graduates who just focus on specialized subjects. And in some case, they can get more job at the same time and get well-paid. To recapitulate, I am strongly convinced that despite the benefits of focusing on specialized subjects, students ought to study a wide spectrum of subjects. Simultaneously, it would be more prudent for them to combine both types in oder to attain the best results
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is argued
that
Consider using "most graduate" or "most of the graduate".
most of graduate
go for pursue specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
and pay attention on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they want to learn
deeply
. While I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that perspective is accurate to a
You used an adverb ('somewhat') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('extent') instead of another adjective.
somewhat extent
, I
still
hold a notion that learning a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
bring myriad value benefits for us is much more advantageous.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pursue specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
, which they prefer and pay attention on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specialized courses.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, focusing on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
devoting themselves to that area and seek to become professionals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
I to say, spending time and effort in
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
to research one specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
extent their knowledge.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is reason why
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the universities") or simply say "most universities".
most of universities
usually
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majors
. At the same time, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
they feel interesting and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher achievement.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of learners should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
justification. As a matter of fact, taking part in more than one specialize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enhance their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Particularly
, knowing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
if they want to specialize in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
related in this world and each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
,
therefore
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things to broaden horizons.
Moreover
, taking part in variant courses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends and know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
give
them more opportunities than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to practices muti-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as: teamwork, communication or presentation. Apart from this, studying a wide spectrum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
golden opportunities when they look for occupation. To specify, with wide knowledge, they can take place more position than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
graduates who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. And in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more job at the same time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well-paid.

To recapitulate, I am
strongly
convinced that despite the benefits of focusing on specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to study a wide spectrum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Simultaneously
, it would be more prudent for them to combine both types in
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
to attain the best results
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay In most universities students focus on specialized subjects, however some people believe that universities should encourage student to study a wide spectrum of subjects. Give your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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