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In many countries, young people leave rural areas to study and work in cities. What do you think are reasons for this? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

In many countries, young people leave rural areas to study and work in cities. What do you think are reasons for this? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
There is no doubt in saying that youngster prefer to urban areas from countryside areas in order to get a standard of education and various forms of works. It has more advantages than disadvantages which i will explain in the upcoming contexts. To embark upon, there are numerous reasons why more and more young people decide to have a migration to cities. First and foremost, as people move to cities, they find the quality education than their countryside areas because number of educational institutes in cities provide them number of opportunities related with exploration in academic. Which later assist them in getting well paid job. Secondly, due to having more opportunities in urban areas than rural areas regarding work, people take the decision to move. Additionaly, good salary packages are also influence to leave the countryside areas, where are hardly possibilities of range of work with certain benefits. In terms of positive sides of staying in cities, nowadays the system of education in specifically rural areas is not much as per the future requirements, which help more to be with superior quality of education for children. Second one is that, good working opportunities alongwith extremely good plans of benefits in monetary make the mind of younger to secure themselves as a valued person in society. The picture is not so rosy here, leaving the countryside areas just for the sake of better education and work. So that, migration, from rural to urban, is not a solution government has a responsibilty to take intitiatives making the countryside area is most approachable area by setting up more and more industries and institutions. Otherwise development of country will not be completely done. In conclusion, considering the reasons of being moved to urban from rural areas, the number of opportunities related to educational institutes and job make the younger ones much alluring. This scenario has more advantages making the sensational career than disadvantages.
There is no doubt in saying
The verb 'prefer' is plural. Did you mean: "that youngster prefers"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that youngster prefer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and various forms of works. It has more advantages than disadvantages which
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the upcoming contexts.

To embark upon, there are numerous reasons why more and more young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to have a migration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
First
and foremost, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, they find the quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
number of educational institutes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide them number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
related with exploration in academic.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
later assist them in getting well paid job.
Secondly
, due to having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take the decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Additionaly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary packages are
also
influence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, where are hardly possibilities of range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with certain benefits.

In terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of staying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, nowadays the system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
specifically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is not much as per the future requirements, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
more to be with superior quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for children. Second one is that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
Possible spelling mistake found.
alongwith
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
plans of benefits in monetary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the mind of younger to secure themselves as a valued person in society.

The picture is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rosy here, leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the sake of better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, migration, from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
, is not a solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
to take
Possible spelling mistake found.
intitiatives
making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
approachable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
by setting up more and more industries and institutions.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
development of country will not be completely done.

In conclusion
, considering the reasons of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
related to educational institutes and job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the younger ones much alluring. This scenario has more advantages making the sensational career than disadvantages.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, young people leave rural areas to study and work in cities. What do you think are reasons for this? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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