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Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Task Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Whether you should take risks or stick to doing what you are best at in order to succeed has generated a lot of controversy recently. As far as I am concerned, it is best to do what you know well to achieve success. In the following paragraphs, I will point out the importance of doing what you already know how to do well. First and foremost, there is little chance of failure when you do not take risks. When you know how to perform a task well, you are lesslikely to fail in doing so. That is, you make less mistakes, and you obtain more desirable results. Furthermore, when you have enough experience in conducting a task, you gain confidence, which is crucial for success. For instance, an expert and experienced carpenter would make tables and chairs out of wood with minimum error. Nevertheless, if he suddenly decides to become a chef, there is a high chance that he would either burn the food or makes it undercooked. Moreover, doing what you are best at is more satisfactory, whereas taking risks has a tiny chance of satisfaction. Taking risk is a product of aspiration, and it rarely results in what people wish for. Why leaving something that has a partial satisfactory for something that has little chance of it? My uncle is an illustration. He used to be a semi-successfull salesman, but then he decided to open a restaurant to become rich. He used up all his savings to open the restaurant, which eventually did not attract much costumers and was closed after a little while. Subsequently, he became bankrupt, and did not have enough money to start over. Admittedly, not to mention the the importance of comfort-zone would be an oversight. When people change their habits, they leave their comfot-zone. Engaging in a new activiy and taking risks count as well. Consequently, their performance may decrease. Furthermore, people get anxious when they leave their comfort-zone, which leads to more performance degradation and loss of focus. All in all, doing what you already do well has several advantages. It is lesslikely to result in failure, it is more satisfactory, and it does not place you in an awkward situation.
Whether you should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
or stick to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what you are best at in order to succeed has generated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
controversy recently. As far as I
am concerned
, it is best to do what you know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to achieve success. In the following paragraphs, I will point out the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what you already know how to do well.

First
and foremost, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
chance of failure when you do not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
. When you know how to perform a task
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
, you are
Possible spelling mistake found.
lesslikely
to fail in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
That is
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun mistakes is countable.
less
mistakes, and you obtain more desirable results.
Furthermore
, when you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
experience in conducting a task, you gain confidence, which is crucial for success.
For instance
, an expert and experienced carpenter would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
tables and chairs out of wood with minimum error.
Nevertheless
, if he
suddenly
decides to become a chef, there is a high chance that he would either burn the food or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
undercooked
.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what you are best at is more satisfactory, whereas taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
has a tiny chance of satisfaction. Taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
is a product of aspiration, and it rarely results in what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wish for. Why leaving something that has a partial satisfactory for something that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
chance of it? My uncle is an illustration. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
semi-successfull
salesman,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then he decided to open a restaurant to become rich. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up all his savings to open the restaurant, which
eventually
did not attract
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
costumers and
was closed
after a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
while.
Subsequently
, he became bankrupt, and did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
over.

Admittedly
, not to mention
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
importance of comfort-zone would be an oversight. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their habits, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfot-zone
. Engaging in a new
Possible spelling mistake found.
activiy
and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
count as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
.
Consequently
, their performance may decrease.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anxious when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their comfort-zone, which leads to more performance degradation and loss of focus.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what you already do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
has several advantages. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
lesslikely
to result in failure, it is more satisfactory, and it does not place you in an awkward situation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Task Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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