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In most countries, multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

In most countries, multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life. v. 1
Never before have multinational companies played such a pivotal role in society. In the past, rarely a local company's products would reach external markets. Yet today, seemingly due to the advent of globalisation, both manufacturing and distribution have gone global, increasing the quantity and the variety of goods and services dramatically whilst driving down prices. These are often cited as some of the examples of how this trend has improved people’s lives greatly. Advocates of this point of view assert that never has the world experienced such prosperity. From wide-screen televisions to luxury cars, globalisation has brought about variation never seen before. What is more, multinational companies generate a substantial number of jobs and innovation, both of which are catalysts to some wealth in society. And thus, they claim, the quality of people's lives has been substantially elevated across the globalised world. Albeit I acknowledge the validity of such arguments, it is my belief that it is outweighed by one simple yet powerful counter-argument; consumerism. That is, such a massive number of products allied with an efficient marketing industry, poured with huge budgets, has converted people to mere consumers. As a result, many have become prone to buying compulsively far more things than necessary, generating massive wastage. Worse, some evidence would suggest a strong link between this dysfunctional behaviour and some psychological issues such as depression, stress and the like. Hence, that multinational companies have yielded a number of benefits is clear. However, I feel that the rampant consumerism which has widely spread across society as a consequence of globalisation will end up putting at stake not only our quality of life but also perhaps the planet itself.
Never
before
have multinational
companies
played such a pivotal role in society. In the past, rarely a local
company
's products would reach external markets.
Yet
today
,
seemingly
due to the advent of
globalisation
, both manufacturing and distribution have gone global, increasing the quantity and the variety of
goods
and services
dramatically
whilst driving down prices. These are
often
cited as
some of the
examples of how this trend has
improved
people
’s
lives
greatly
.

Advocates of this point of view assert that never has the world experienced such prosperity. From wide-screen televisions to luxury cars,
globalisation
has brought about variation never
seen
before
.
What is more
, multinational
companies
generate a substantial number of jobs and innovation, both of which are catalysts to
some
wealth in society. And
thus
, they claim, the quality of
people
's
lives
has been
substantially
elevated across the
globalised
world.

Albeit I acknowledge the validity of such arguments, it is my belief that it
is outweighed
by one simple
yet
powerful counter-argument; consumerism.
That is
, such a massive number of products allied with an efficient marketing industry, poured with huge budgets, has converted
people
to mere consumers.
As a result
,
many
have become prone to buying
compulsively
far more things than necessary, generating massive wastage. Worse,
some
evidence would suggest a strong link between this dysfunctional
behaviour
and
some
psychological issues such as depression,
stress
and the like.

Hence
, that multinational
companies
have yielded a number of benefits is
clear
.
However
, I feel that the rampant consumerism which has
widely
spread across society as a consequence of
globalisation
will
end
up putting at stake not
only
our quality of life
but
also
perhaps the planet itself.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In most countries, multinational companies and their products are becoming more and more important. This trend is seriously damaging our quality of life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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