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Many companies provide important products and services but at the same time cause environment damages. Some people believe the best way to prevent these companies from damaging the environment is for the government to require more penalties from them, suc v.1

Many companies provide important products and services but at the same time cause environment damages. Some people believe the best way to prevent these companies from damaging the environment is for the government to require more penalties from them, suc v. 1
With the advance of modern society, governments are attach much importance to environmental problems, which are influence for people’s daily life. People start to concentrate on global warming or some bad effects that are responsible for companies of manufacturing industry. What can be done to relieve this problem? Some people believe that the government could require more penalties for these companies. Others point out that it must have other better way to solve this problem. I, personally, think we can find better way to solve this problem. Firstly, governments should encourage companies to protect the environment independently and consciously, like issuing certificates for those environmental protection enterprises, or public service advertisements should be put on mass media to raise public awareness of environmental protection. If companies do not produce the products of cause environmental damage, the environment would not be polluted, which can basically solve the problem. Moreover, government can use some media or internet to show public that how significant to use the environmental goods is for our society. When people understand the importance of conserve the environment, they may reduce using some product that damage our environment. For example, few days ago, I watched a Public Service Advertisements, which told us that lots of products that we use will damage the environment for our survival. Then, I knew the importance of decrease the use of goods harmful to the environment and I did reduce purchases of these products. Admittedly, companies will pay more attention on their produced product to reduce environment damage, because of larger fine. According to this reason most companies will reduce to damage the environment. However, producing product will bring the large number of benefits for most company and these benefits are higher than fine. What will the companies do? Sometimes, they would not care about large fine and just still produce the products. So, the environmental problems would not be solved. In conclusion, the better way is that when companies could conserve the environment independently or let public to know how environmental goods important are, which are the better way to solve the environmental problems.
With the advance of modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are
Consider using a past participle here: "attached".
attach
much importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, which are influence for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to concentrate on global warming or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects that are responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
of manufacturing industry. What can
be done
to relieve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could require more penalties for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. Others point out that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. I,
personally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
this problem.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
independently
and
consciously
, like issuing certificates for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection enterprises, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
service advertisements should
be put
on mass media to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do not produce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Did you mean "of course" (=naturally)?
of cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
would not
be polluted
, which can
basically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
media or internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
that how significant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
is for our society. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the importance of conserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For example
, few days ago, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
Service Advertisements, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
us that lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for our survival. Then, I knew the importance of decrease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and I did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
of these products.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will pay more attention on their produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of larger fine. According to this reason most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
However
, producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will bring the large number of benefits for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and these benefits are higher than fine. What will the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, they would not care about large fine and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
still
produce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
would not
be solved
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could conserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
independently
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to know how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
are, which are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
68Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many companies provide important products and services but at the same time cause environment damages. Some people believe the best way to prevent these companies from damaging the environment is for the government to require more penalties from them, suc v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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