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In most countries disabled people are not catered adequately, e. g. buildings are often inappropriately designed. Governments rely heavily on charities and voluntary organizations to provide assistance and funding. v.1

In most countries disabled people are not catered adequately, e. g. buildings are often inappropriately designed. Governments rely heavily on charities and voluntary organizations to provide assistance and funding. v. 1
Nowadays, there is not any fitting circumstance for disabled people in order to dwell as others in almost all countries. Unfortunately, manifold buildings are, in the aggregate, erected inappropriately. Sometimes governments are becoming contingent on charities and voluntary organizations to supply aid and funding. Actually, it is not a lucid reason and I do not concur with this notion. To ameliorate the disabled people’s lifestyle is one of the most noteworthy duties of a desirable statement. Sometimes the government can confront to some financial and economical problems which can afflict persons' conditions. Despite it, anyway, there must be some organizations that assist to people in these challenges. Meanwhile, as bad luck would have it, in society there are not enough better places for the disabled’s confidence. For instance, when they want to enter the buildings or supermarkets, they suffer from it because of the structure of complexes. On the other hand, they need much money for living better. Because they must buy some facilities in order to move and it is an omnipresent knowledge that such kind of equipment is very expensive. Hence, in this situation, disabled people must be provisioned with the apparatuses or supplementary money that is affordable for buying them. It seems to me that there are many impeccable solutions in order to deal with this tremendous issue in the world. The governments should impose some rules about the opening  factories that disabled people can work. Apart from salary, it will help them in terms of both boosting their morale via making a connection with new people and aiding them to attain to the ecstasy. In addition, in all public places, the existence of particular pass can be very beneficial to disabled people and the applying of it can support them in most cases. In my view, these attitudes must be implemented in all countries.
Nowadays, there is not any fitting circumstance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to dwell as others in almost all countries. Unfortunately, manifold buildings are, in the aggregate, erected
inappropriately
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are becoming contingent on charities and voluntary organizations to supply aid and funding.

Actually, it is not a lucid reason and I do not concur with this notion. To ameliorate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle is one of the most noteworthy duties of a desirable statement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can confront to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
problems which can afflict persons' conditions. Despite it, anyway, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations that assist to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these challenges. Meanwhile, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
luck would have it, in society there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
better places for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabled’s
confidence.
For instance
, when they want to enter the buildings or supermarkets, they suffer from it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the structure of complexes.

On the other hand
, they need much money for living better.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and it is an omnipresent knowledge that such kind of equipment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive.
Hence
, in this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provisioned
with the apparatuses or supplementary money
that is
affordable for buying them.

It seems to me that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
impeccable solutions in order to deal with this tremendous issue in the world. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
about the opening
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
factories that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can work. Apart from salary, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in terms of both boosting their morale via making a connection with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and aiding them to attain to the ecstasy.
In addition
, in all public places, the existence of particular pass can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the applying of it can support them
in most cases
. In my view, these attitudes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
in all countries.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In most countries disabled people are not catered adequately, e. g. buildings are often inappropriately designed. Governments rely heavily on charities and voluntary organizations to provide assistance and funding. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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