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In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more with friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v.1

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more with friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v. 1
Nowadays, young people tend to pass most of their time with friends instead of families. This is happening due to the development of social media sites, which caused an increase in friends and parents should not force their children to stay at home as this will damage relationships within families. Youngsters are making so many friends as they find the networking sites a useful tool for doing this. This is to say with the aid of social sites one can easily build a profile and make someone his or her friend, with just one single click. Young persons are becoming addicted to these websites and spending most of their time with friends on these platforms. For instance, on social networking sites such as the Facebook and Skype young people have numerous friends. Parents should not try to pressurize their children to stay with them at home, rather than spending time with friends. This is because such strict and impulsive actions could make children quite aggressive, they will take it as a punishment. Younger people will get frustrated and angry at their parents that they are not allowing them to enjoy and spend time with friends. Such behaviour would be detrimental for family attachment and could result in serious repercussions. For example, a survey revealed that in UK children prefer to live alone because of restrictions imposed by their parents. To conclude, in today's world youngsters like to spend their time with friends rather than with families. This is occurring because social media websites are helping kids to make friends with ease and to tackle this parent should not apply any kind of strictness on them, because this will make them rebel and can break family bondings.
Nowadays, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to pass most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This is happening due to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, which caused an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and parents should not force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay at home as this will damage relationships within families.

Youngsters are making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
as they find the networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
a useful tool for doing this. This is to say with the aid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
one can
easily
build a profile and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one single click. Young persons are becoming addicted to these websites and spending most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
on these platforms.
For instance
, on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
such as the Facebook and Skype young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have numerous friends.

Parents should not try to pressurize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay with them at home,
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such strict and impulsive actions could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
quite aggressive, they will take it as a punishment. Younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frustrated and angry at their parents that they are not allowing them to enjoy and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Such
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
would be detrimental for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
attachment and could result in serious repercussions.
For example
, a survey revealed that in UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of restrictions imposed by their parents.

To conclude
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world youngsters like to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
rather
than with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This is occurring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media websites are helping kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and to tackle this parent should not apply any kind of strictness on them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them rebel and can break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
bondings
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more with friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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