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In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v.8

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v. 8
In today's world, youngsters have very less time for their family members, and they spend the majority of time along with their friends. This essay will firstly discuss that the main reason behind this is a hectic schedule of people, and secondly, suggest that elders ought to not force anyone to stay at home because this way will distort their children's upbringing. An important reason why youth spend more time with their friends than their families is their busy lifestyles. Children spend almost 10 to 12 hours a day away from their siblings and parents for their studies and other recreational activities, continuously staying in contact with their friends. They remain very occupied in some essential chores that cause them to spend less time with families. For example, my two cousins are studying in a secondary school, and they meet their father only twice or thrice a week due to their hectic timings. Young people should not be forced by their parents to remain at home because this restriction creates a negative impact on their nurturing. During the teenage period, children become short-tempered and more impatient due to the age-related physical and mental changes. If parents put some limits on their teen dependents, they will become more stubborn, and this is not good for their further growth. For example, according to a recent news report, a schoolboy caused many physical injuries to himself, when his mother did not allow him to go out with other friends. In conclusion, I believe that it is the current busy lifestyles of adults that cause them to live fewer moments with their family members, and in my opinion, parents should not enforce any rule on their children to spend more time together since this unnecessary force affects negatively on their loved ones' adulthood.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, youngsters have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
along with their friends. This essay will
firstly
discuss that the main reason behind this is a hectic schedule of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and
secondly
, suggest that elders ought to not force anyone to stay at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this way will distort their children's upbringing.

An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason why youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is their busy lifestyles. Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
almost 10 to 12 hours a day away from their siblings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for their studies and other recreational activities,
continuously
staying in contact with their friends. They remain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
occupied in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential chores that cause them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For example
, my two cousins are studying in a secondary school, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
twice or thrice a week due to their hectic timings.

Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not
be forced
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to remain at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this restriction creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their nurturing. During the teenage period, children become short-tempered and more impatient due to the age-related physical and mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limits on their teen dependents, they will become more stubborn, and this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their
further
growth.
For example
, according to a recent news report, a schoolboy caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical injuries to himself, when his mother did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
him to go out with other friends.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
busy lifestyles of adults that cause them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
fewer moments with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, and in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not enforce any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
on their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together since this unnecessary force affects
negatively
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones' adulthood.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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