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In many places prisons are overcrowded and expensive for governments to maintain Yet when offenders are released they end up back in prison a short while later Does prison work Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished v.2

In many places prisons are overcrowded and expensive for governments to maintain Yet when offenders are released they end up back in prison a short while later Does prison work Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished v. 2
Imprisonment is one of the most common forms of punishment in several countries. However, how effective this system is when a high percentage of prisoner’s relapse into crime once they are released into the community. From my point of view, sentencing criminals to time in prison fail in most cases. Undeniably, prison is the best place for offenders to rehabilitate. Firstly, in prisons, criminals are locked up and must take part in some reformed courses to become better ones or do community services for their society. Secondly, when being in prisons, people who commit an offense have more time to think about what they did and realize what they need to do instead of receiving prison sentences. Finally, the prison has a function to help innocent people have safety life. For example, if one-day prisons disappear, they will be scare about surrounding things, and criminals will threaten the safety of society anytime, anywhere. Life will be a terrible mess. However, depending on levels of crime and groups of ages, it exists a few suitable punishments. If a criminal is just a teenager, he or she will be rehabilitated in re-education camps. For those who engage in major crime like killing, rape, treason, the government should impose several stricter punishments. A death sentence or life imprisonment is a proper punishment for offenders putting society in danger. Based on the law, other offenders face different levels of punishment. For example, a person who commits an aggravated robbery with the use of a weapon should be punished from one to five years in prison. In conclusion, I understand that criminals posing a threat to society cannot be allowed to roam freely, or perhaps prison is not the only restricted way. So, the severity of the crime committed should be taken into consideration before deciding on the punishment.
Imprisonment is one of the most common forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in several countries.
However
, how effective this system is when a high percentage of prisoner’s relapse into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
once they
are released
into the community. From my point of view, sentencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
fail
in most cases
.

Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is the best place for offenders to rehabilitate.
Firstly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are locked
up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reformed courses to become better ones or do community services for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Secondly
, when being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who commit an offense have more time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what they did and realize what they need to do
instead
of receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
has a function to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have safety life.
For example
, if one-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
disappear, they will be
Consider using a past participle here: "scared".
scare
about surrounding things, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will threaten the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
anytime, anywhere. Life will be a terrible mess.

However
, depending on levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and groups of ages, it exists a few suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, he or she will
be rehabilitated
in re-education camps. For those who engage in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like killing, rape, treason, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose several stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
. A death sentence or life imprisonment is a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for offenders putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. Based on the law, other offenders face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
For example
, a person who commits an aggravated robbery with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a weapon should
be punished
from one to five years in prison.

In conclusion
, I understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
posing a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to roam
freely
, or perhaps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
restricted way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the severity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committed should
be taken
into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay In many places prisons are overcrowded and expensive for governments to maintain Yet when offenders are released they end up back in prison a short while later Does prison work Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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