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In many places prisons are overcrowded and expensive for governments to maintain Yet when offenders are released they end up back in prison a short while later Does prison work Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished v.1

In many places prisons are overcrowded and expensive for governments to maintain Yet when offenders are released they end up back in prison a short while later Does prison work Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished v. 1
A couple of well-developed countries are prompting to four and a half working days per week in order to achieve a better work-life balance, but some people argue that a longer working time is of great importance to the economic success of countries. From my personal angle alone, for some developing countries, I agree that it indeed can engage in their economic growth. First and foremost, long working hours mean that employers devote more time at work and are able to deal with heavier workloads within a longer working time, thereby boosting daily working efficiency and further marking great profits for the company. By contrast, people who work for shorten time, cannot finish tasks as much as those have an extended time would complete. For instance, if a company runs the moulding business, where massive production is required, long operation hours not only hold a key in its bushiness achievement, but also ensure its capacity. Besides, there are a number of industries sometimes have to operate in unusual working hours for maximizing their returns. For example, If some countries predominately rely on tourism, it is necessary for employers from retails and catering sectors to work outside office hours in order to provide service to customers and tourists, such as 7-9pm, when are their peak hours of a day. For another, workers from financial backgrounds, banker in particular, need to catch up with other countries’ stock markets, thereby performing in a relatively long duty hours. However, working 24/7 is never the case that contributes to a boost in the economy, prolonging the working time actually imposes some incidental negative effects on a country’s economy. In other words, potential growing health care cost because fatigue tends to harm the employees’ health, therefore leading to more consumption of medical resources. In conclusion, I am of opinion that lengthening working time is able to increase a company’s working efficiency and its turnover, yet, people who without adequate rest easily pose a threat in their health condition.
A couple of well-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are prompting to four and a half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
days per week in order to achieve a better work-life balance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is of great importance to the economic success of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. From my personal angle alone, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it
indeed
can engage in their economic growth.

First
and foremost, long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
mean that employers devote more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at work and are able to deal with heavier workloads within a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, thereby boosting daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
efficiency and
further
marking great profits for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. By contrast,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who work for shorten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, cannot finish tasks as much as those have an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
would complete.
For instance
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
runs the
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
business, where massive production
is required
, long operation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hold a key in its bushiness achievement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
ensure its capacity.

Besides
, there are a number of industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
operate in unusual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for maximizing their returns.
For example
, If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
predominately
rely on tourism, it is necessary for employers from retails and catering sectors to work outside office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in order to provide service to customers and tourists, such as 7-9pm, when are their peak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of a day. For another, workers from financial backgrounds, banker
in particular
, need to catch up with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
stock markets, thereby performing in a
relatively
long duty hours.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
24/7 is never the case that contributes to a boost in the economy, prolonging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
actually imposes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
incidental
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy.
In other words
, potential growing health care cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
fatigue tends to harm the employees’ health,
therefore
leading to more consumption of medical resources.

In conclusion
, I am of opinion that lengthening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is able to increase a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
efficiency and its turnover,
yet
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who without adequate rest
easily
pose a threat in their health condition.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In many places prisons are overcrowded and expensive for governments to maintain Yet when offenders are released they end up back in prison a short while later Does prison work Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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