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In many places, prisons are crowded and expensive for governments to maintain. Yet, when offenders are released, they end up back in prison a short while latter. Does prison work? Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished? v.1

In many places, prisons are crowded and expensive for governments to maintain. Yet, when offenders are released, they end up back in prison a short while latter. Does prison work? Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished? v. 1
Nowadays people watch movies to overcome stress in daily life, so the demand of quality films has increased. To meet these demands some organizations spend way too much on making a film. Money does play a vital role in the success of a movie with other important factors too. In this essay, I would be discussing important factors besides money, for a movie to be successful. Money is essential for the production of movies, but spending a lot does not guarantee its success. This means a proper financial budget should be planned accordingly for making a film. It has also been observed that not all high budget movies are appreciated by the viewers. For instance, a movie casting highly paid actors and spending too much on locations also has an equal chance of failure. Moreover, low budget movies have been very successful in recent times. Indeed, there is a plethora of factors that play a vital role in a film’s success. Firstly, the story of a movie, the way it is written, directed and performed propagates its success. This means that the story of a film should be fascinating and interesting, attracting the audience. In addition, actors performing and having a range of diversified skills is another important factor. The audience appreciates these skills, making a movie successful. For example, recently a movie named “Joker” has really been successful and admired by the viewers. People have really enjoyed the acting skills of the main lead actor. This means the success of a movie is not totally dependent on the money spent. To conclude, there are a variety of factors contributing in a film’s success rather than emphasizing only on the high budget for a film. The amount of money spent on the movie does not assure its success.
Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to overcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in daily life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the demand of quality films has increased. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
these demands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations spend way too much on making a film.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
does play a vital role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
with other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
too. In this essay, I would be discussing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
to be successful.

Money is essential for the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
spending a lot does not guarantee its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. This means a proper financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
should
be planned
accordingly
for making a film. It has
also
been observed
that not all high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are appreciated
by the viewers.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
casting
highly
paid actors and spending too much on locations
also
has an equal chance of failure.
Moreover
, low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful in recent times.

Indeed
, there is a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that play a vital role in a film’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Firstly
, the story of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, the way it
is written
, directed and performed propagates its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. This means that the story of a film should be fascinating and interesting, attracting the audience.
In addition
, actors performing and having a range of diversified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
. The audience appreciates these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
successful.
For example
, recently a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
named “Joker” has
really
been successful and admired by the viewers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
really
enjoyed the acting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of the main lead actor. This means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is not
totally
dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent.

To conclude
, there are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
contributing in a film’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
rather
than emphasizing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
for a film. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
does not assure its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In many places, prisons are crowded and expensive for governments to maintain. Yet, when offenders are released, they end up back in prison a short while latter. Does prison work? Should lawbreakers be rehabilitated or punished? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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