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Do you like history What historical event do you find most interesting Do you think history is important Do you think the internet is a good place to learn about history v.1

Do you like history What historical event do you find most interesting Do you think history is important Do you think the internet is a good place to learn about history v. 1
Museums are educational places which are beneficial for people in the society. However, nowadays people have to pay as an entry fee to access the museum. Although this phenomenon has significant negative effects, I opine that there are far more positive effects of charging. To embark with, it cannot be denied that the prices of tickets can bring numerous detrimental impacts to people, societies and museums themselves. From the people’s perspective, they cannot get essential information and knowledge to ease free educational access. Importantly, poor people who cannot afford to pay the entry fee, which probably can turn out to be demotivational. From society’s point of view, museums which hold an imperative value for demonstrating culture, history, science, art and many more, are not free anymore and citizens have to pay to access vitally significant places. From the museum’s standpoint, they cannot attain their most essential objective to educate people. Moreover, they may have to close down as they lose more of their viewers and customers. Despite of aforementioned advantages, charging for admission can bring a myriad of advantages. To embark with, museums will have money to operate which covers their business overheads such as resources affordability, electricity and water bills, equipment maintenance and many more. Apart from this, they can generate their own revenue to grow and improve their facilities and can attract more people to visit. For example, more crowd will come with updated exhibits, clean and good looking place. In addition, having visited a plethora of museums myself, I have learnt that art places who sell tickets have more to offer than free places. To put this in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that, even though museum entry fees can cause few drawbacks to stakeholders in societies, I firmly in support that museums should not remain free to enhance their facilities and provide more better, well operated experience for citizens.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which are beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
However
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay as an entry fee to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
. Although this phenomenon has significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, I opine that there are far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of charging.

To embark with, it cannot
be denied
that the prices of tickets can bring numerous detrimental impacts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
themselves. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
perspective, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
essential information and knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
educational access.
Importantly
, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot afford to pay the entry fee, which
probably
can turn out to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
demotivational
. From
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society’s
point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which hold an imperative value for demonstrating culture, history, science, art and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
anymore and citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay to access
vitally
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum’s
standpoint, they cannot attain their most essential objective to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close down as they lose more of their viewers and customers.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
aforementioned advantages, charging for admission can bring a myriad of advantages. To embark with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
will have money to operate which covers their business overheads such as resources affordability, electricity and water bills, equipment maintenance and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Apart from this, they can generate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
revenue to grow and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their facilities and can attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit.
For example
, more crowd will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with updated exhibits, clean and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
In addition
, having visited a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
myself, I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
that art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
who sell tickets have more to offer than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
places.

To put this in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
entry fees can cause few drawbacks to stakeholders in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
, I
firmly
in support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should not remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to enhance their facilities and provide
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
, well operated experience for citizens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you like history What historical event do you find most interesting Do you think history is important Do you think the internet is a good place to learn about history v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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