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In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this v.1

In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this v. 1
As the human population increases, so also does the need for more residential places. In different areas, whereas some people agree that the countryside should be used for creating new structures for living, others argue that it should be preserved instead in its natural form. This essay will discuss why I concur with the latter. One important reason why I am of the opinion that the countryside be left in its current form is for preservation of wildlife. Many species of wild animals reside there as that is their natural habitat. Thus, building of new homes there will bring about deforestation of these areas to enable such houses to be constructed and thus in turn will cause these faunas be sent out of their natural dwelling. For example, the Landor forest which was noted in the past for many wildlife sightings including some exotic animals was used in building a big university and some residential buildings. Since then, not a single animal apart from regular pets has been seen there. Using the countryside as a site for creating new structures for people to live is not an option as the wildlife reside there and their environment must be preserved. Another important reason to protect the countryside is due to the increasing climate changes. To make or build these houses, vegetations and trees have to be cleared and cut down in order for the land to be used. This deforestation is one of the leading causes of climate change as the natural balances created by these floras are lost. Some cases of volcanic eruption, sea level changes leading to flooding and even multiple forest fire as currently observed in Australia. Therefore, an important means to prevent or reduce global warming is to stop cutting down trees and doforestation as a whole especially in the outbacks. In conclusion, although new homes are needed in a lot of places, the countryside may not be the only space for building them. Some persons are of the opinion that new houses be built there; whereas a few others think the countryside should be protected so as to preserve the fauna and reduce the increasing rate of climate change which I agree with
As the human population increases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
also
does the need for more residential places. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
structures for living, others argue that it should
be preserved
instead
in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
form. This essay will discuss why I concur with the latter.

One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason why I am of the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
form is for preservation of wildlife.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
species of wild animals reside there as
that is
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes there will bring about deforestation of these areas to enable such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to
be constructed
and
thus
in turn will cause these faunas be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
out of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
dwelling.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Landor
forest which
was noted
in the past for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wildlife sightings including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exotic animals was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
university and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. Since then, not a single animal apart from regular pets has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there. Using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
as a site for creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
structures for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is not an option as the wildlife reside there and their environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be preserved
.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is due to the increasing climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
or build these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetations
and trees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be cleared
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down in order for the land to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. This deforestation is one of the leading causes of climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
balances created by these floras
are lost
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
cases of volcanic eruption, sea level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
leading to flooding and even multiple forest fire as
currently
observed in Australia.
Therefore
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
global warming is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
cutting down trees and
Possible spelling mistake found.
doforestation
as a whole
especially
in the outbacks.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes
are needed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
places, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
may not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
space for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
persons are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
be built
there; whereas a few others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should
be protected
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
preserve the fauna and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the increasing rate of climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
with
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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