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In many places, new homes are needed, but only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What your opinion about this with example? v.1

In many places, new homes are needed, but only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What your opinion about this with example? v. 1
Although the demand for housing is increasing, there is no open space available for their construction except in the rural areas. However, some people argue that the places should be protected from these activity. I disagree with them. In my opinion, it is important to build homes on the outskirts of cities. First and foremost, cities have become over crowded due to urbanization and free space is only available in the side areas. More and more people are migrating to cities for a better future and hence the space available for construction has already been used. To meet this demand for land, people are turning to the countryside. Many customers also want to buy homes in the countryside because they are more affordable. Also, pollution is not really an issue in rural areas. Hence, people opting to live in the countryside can buy spacious homes built amidst natural greenery. In addition to this, if the construction is done in the areas away from the city we can reduce the negative effects of urbanization. Due to overcrowding in cities, people face not only traffic congestion but also pollution. For example, in a South Indian city, a 40% improvement in air quality was observed after they started building homes in the peripheral areas of the city instead of in the centre. Thus, to improve the quality of life in the urban area it is a better solution. In conclusion, as the population is continually moving to cities for better prospects, there is a simultaneous increase in the demand for shelters. Therefore, the countryside can be utilised for this purpose and to curb the effects of overcrowding in cities.
Although the demand for housing is increasing, there is no open space available for their construction except in the rural
areas
.
However
,
some
people
argue that the places should
be protected
from
these activity
. I disagree with them. In my opinion, it is
important
to build
homes
on the outskirts of cities.

First
and foremost,
cities
have become over crowded due to urbanization and free space is
only
available in the side
areas
. More and more
people
are migrating to
cities
for a better future and
hence
the space available for construction has already been
used
.

To
meet
this demand for land,
people
are turning to the
countryside
.
Many
customers
also
want to
buy
homes
in the
countryside
because
they are more affordable.
Also
, pollution is not
really
an issue in rural
areas
.
Hence
,
people
opting to
live
in the
countryside
can
buy
spacious
homes
built amidst natural greenery.
In addition
to this, if the construction
is done
in the
areas
away from the city we can
reduce
the
negative
effects of urbanization. Due to overcrowding in
cities
,
people
face not
only
traffic congestion
but
also
pollution.
For example
, in a South Indian city, a 40% improvement in air quality
was observed
after they
started
building
homes
in the peripheral
areas
of the city
instead
of in the
centre
.
Thus
, to
improve
the quality of life in the urban
area
it is a better solution.

In conclusion
, as the population is
continually
moving to
cities
for better prospects, there is a simultaneous increase in the demand for shelters.
Therefore
, the
countryside
can be
utilised
for this purpose and to curb the effects of overcrowding in
cities
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What your opinion about this with example? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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