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In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. what measures could be taken to prevent this? v.3

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. what measures could be taken to prevent this? v. 3
Despite of being an industrialized countries the quality of air and water are getting lower day by day for construction and industry. This essay will examine the main problems behind these and possible solutions. To begin with, one of the important remedy to avoid water abuse is that ruling parties have to control the waste produced by the companies during their manufacturing work which contains some noxious things which released in the river spills the water level. After applying some filtering techniques which removes such hazardous things from water, then it would be used for household chores. For example, research conducted shows that water containing chemicals used by mankind create health issues such as skin deceases. At last, the government should also start to impose a straight law against the company who try to spoil the water, which would be one of the important need of the common people. Any possible solution of this problem is promoting awareness among people, government's step and strict rules. Firstly, normal people should raise hands to take some steps to stop the problems and talk to the head of those industries and drivers. Otherwise, the Government has to set some rules to stop producing smoke and aware the drivers to use these oils for their vehicles those produce less smoke. Moreover, every person should take personal steps for themselves as a person can only prevent own problems. These problems can be prevented as soon as possible. To conclude, heavy smoke and throwing unusable products into water making the air and water worst. However, these issues can be solved by taking some measure steps which can be done by the government and normal citizens of an industrialized developed country.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
being an industrialized
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
the quality of air and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
are getting lower day by day for construction and industry. This essay will examine the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
behind these and possible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
remedy to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
abuse is that ruling parties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
control the waste produced by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
during their manufacturing work which contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
noxious things which released in the river spills the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
level. After applying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
filtering techniques which removes such hazardous things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, then it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for household chores.
For example
, research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
containing chemicals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by mankind create health issues such as skin deceases. At last, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to impose a straight law against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
who try to spoil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, which would be one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
need of the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Any possible solution of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is promoting awareness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
and strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Firstly
, normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should raise hands to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and talk to the head of those industries and drivers.
Otherwise
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
producing smoke and aware the drivers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these oils for their vehicles those produce less smoke.
Moreover
, every person should take personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
for themselves as a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

To conclude
, heavy smoke and throwing unusable products into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
making the air and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
worst.
However
, these issues can
be solved
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
which can
be done
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and normal citizens of an industrialized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. what measures could be taken to prevent this? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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