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In many countries young people have been living far from their parents from the time of studies, work till marriage. Do you think there are more advantages than disadvantages to this trend? v.1

In many countries young people have been living far from their parents from the time of studies, work till marriage. Do you think there are more advantages than disadvantages to this trend? v. 1
The expansion of Internet and prevalence of globalization have led to new opportunities across the globe. In the current economic climate, student and worker mobility have become an increasing trend. Th drivers for this mobility being either local circumstances or the desire to explore. This has resulted in many issues across the globe but has even resulted in many positive developments. The cost of having to move and possibly live in the new city is often difficult without having work secured. However, with careful planning and organization such as finding the workplace and having sound financial status, the risk can be mitigated. For example, millions of people often flock to Mumbai in search of a better lifestyle. However, those who find work beforehand and then grow tend to grow more and achieve success. Relocation to a new place often involves learning a new language and accepting the cultural differences. Although overcoming a language barrier may be difficult at first, the long-term benefits of learning a language are incredible. It often widens the perspective of an individual and lets them know more about the world in whole. Overall, one can reduce the financial disadvantages with careful planning. Even more, knowing a new language and experiencing a new culture opens up a new perspective on the individuals.
The expansion of Internet and prevalence of globalization have led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
opportunities across the globe. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
economic climate, student and worker mobility have become an increasing trend.
The genitive is possibly missing.
Th drivers
for this mobility being either local circumstances or the desire to explore. This has resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues across the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has even resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments.

The cost of having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and
possibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
difficult without having work secured.
However
, with careful planning and organization such as finding the workplace and having sound financial status, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
can
be mitigated
.
For example
, millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
flock to Mumbai in search of a better lifestyle.
However
, those who find work beforehand and then grow tend to grow more and achieve success.

Relocation to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
involves learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and accepting the cultural differences. Although overcoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier may be difficult at
first
, the long-term benefits of learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are incredible. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
widens the perspective of an individual and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
them know more about the world in whole.

Overall
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the financial disadvantages with careful planning. Even more, knowing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and experiencing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture opens up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
perspective on the individuals.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries young people have been living far from their parents from the time of studies, work till marriage. Do you think there are more advantages than disadvantages to this trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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