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In many countries recently young single people have been living far from their parents, from the time they began studies or work and until they married. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this trend? v.2

In this concurrent era, almost young generation leave their parents for their education or job before they are married. However, living alone for study and work can ensure liberty but can also leads to certain drawbacks. The most significant benefits to living with their parents is that students can concentrate more on their education because they do not have any major responsibilities like washing clothes, cocking food, paying rent and many more. Another upside is that parents could take care of the children, if children fall sick or have any other health problems, they can cook food according to prescription of the doctor, also can give medicine time to time, and many more. Moreover, saving money is also predominate benefits because their parents take financial responsibility for nurturing their children so that children do not have to pay money on boarding and lodging. On the other hand, there are also disadvantages to staying with parents. Firstly, children cannot learn the hard lesson of life because they growing under comfortable circumstance, as a result they cannot understand the importance of hard work and struggle. Another one is that children given leeway because some of the parents are punctual. Take for instance, some of the parents restrict their children for watching television, playing games, sometimes eating junk food, purchasing cloths and many more, consequently children cannot live life by their own choices. To conclude, while benefits of living with the parents are massive such as children can live life hassle free without any tremendous responsibility, they also have to deal with the downsides such as children could not understand the critical importance of struggle and hard work in their life.
In this concurrent era, almost young generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for their education or job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are married
.
However
, living alone for study and work can ensure liberty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
leads to certain drawbacks.

The most significant benefits to living with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is that students can concentrate more on their education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have any major responsibilities like washing clothes, cocking food, paying rent and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Another upside is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fall sick or have any other health problems, they can cook food according to prescription of the doctor,
also
can give medicine time to time, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Moreover
, saving money is
also
predominate benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take financial responsibility for nurturing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay money on boarding and lodging.

On the other hand
, there are
also
disadvantages to staying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
lesson of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they growing under comfortable circumstance,
as a result
they cannot understand the importance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and struggle. Another one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
leeway
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are punctual. Take
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
restrict their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for watching television, playing games,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
eating junk food, purchasing cloths and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more,
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices.

To conclude
, while benefits of living with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are massive such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
hassle free without any tremendous responsibility, they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with the downsides such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could not understand the critical importance of struggle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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