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In many countries recently young single people have been living far from their parents, from the time they began studies or work and until they married. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this trend? v.1

In many countries recently young single people have been living far from their parents, from the time they began studies or work and until they married. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this trend? v. 1
Nowadays, young people choose to live far from their families due to the benefits they can gain when they study or work outside their comfort zones. There are many arguments into this trend whether it is good or bad. In this essay, I will discuss both views since I believe that there are always advantages as well as disadvantages. In terms of pros, people who don't live with their parents seem to have a better attitude towards life. Their choices to leave homes lead them to meet with difficulties earlier than others. As a results, they will have better experience dealing with problems in life since they have overcome such similar issues. Moreover, living by ourselves can build confidence and independence, especially for those whose parents are over-protective. For example, a person who live with their parents until they married is likely to have fewer skills and flexibilities when coping with different problems in his/her life. On the other hand, youngsters choose to live far from their parents because they want to have free space to do whatever they want. I believe that this can lead to many issues. Parents will not have the ability to control their offsprings' behaviour and actions. Therefore, some people are using this to do bad things without permissions from their parents. In addition, not everyone can live on his/her own at the early stage of life. Many people still need guidance and protections from their parents because of their disablities or mental-health problems. To sum up, I want to emphasis the importance of living far away from parents due to the advantages they can bring to us. However, we also need to pay close attention to the disadvantages this trend can cause.
Nowadays, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
far from their families due to the benefits they can gain when they study or work outside their comfort zones. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments into this trend whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. In this essay, I will discuss both views since I believe that there are always advantages
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
disadvantages.

In terms of pros,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
seem to have a better attitude towards life. Their choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You should probably use "home".
homes
lead them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with difficulties earlier than others. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a result" or simply "results"?
a results
, they will have better experience dealing with problems in life since they have overcome such similar issues.
Moreover
, living by ourselves can build confidence and independence,
especially
for those whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are over-protective.
For example
, a person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
until they married is likely to have fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
flexibilities
when coping with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems in his/her life.

On the other hand
, youngsters choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
far from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to have free space to do whatever they want. I believe that this can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
will not have the ability to control their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and actions.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using this to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things without permissions from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
In addition
, not everyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
at the early stage of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
need guidance and protections from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
disablities
or mental-health problems.

To sum up, I want
Did you mean "to emphasize" (American English) or "to emphasise" (British English)?
to emphasis
the importance of living far away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
due to the advantages they can bring to us.
However
, we
also
need to pay close attention to the disadvantages this trend can cause.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries recently young single people have been living far from their parents, from the time they began studies or work and until they married. Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to this trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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