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Some people believe that advertisement is useful and informative Others think it is false and only helps to raise prices Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people believe that advertisement is useful and informative Others think it is false and only helps to raise prices 2
The topic of whether the advertisements deliver useful information of a product is of concern for many people. Some believe that advertisements help customers to choose the best items, while others have different opinions. As for me, I strongly agree the former. Those who assert ads hold the following reasons. Firstly, it is an ideal platform for customers to get access to the information of a product. As many companies or factories present the functions and characteristics of their best sellers via adverts, customers have the chance to know if these products satisfy their needs. Secondly, advertisements can always reach a large number of audiences. Advertising messages can be transmitted through mass media, such as newspaper, magazines, television, allowing the general public to be aware of the existence of any new products. However, there are opposing voices. To start with, it is common to find that many adverts convey fake information. In order to persuade people to buy goods, some advertisements do exaggerate and distort the truth, which can be considered as a fraud. Besides, the commodities are generally getting more expensive due to the heavy advertisements. For example, once a product is highly promoted, it becomes a luxury as it is well-known. In this case, the company will raise its price to maximise the profits. I personally agree that the advertisement have a certain value in the current market. It is no doubt that the widespread advertising has revolutionised people’s shopping behaviour. By reading the magazines or watching the TV ads, shoppers can acquire the latest promotions and on sale news, thereby purchasing the suitable items for themselves. Although there are negative sides on this trend, the adverse impacts can be controlled by the government with the imposition of censorship.
The topic of whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
deliver useful information of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is of concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
customers to choose the best items, while others have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions. As for me, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the former.

Those who assert ads hold the following reasons.
Firstly
, it is an ideal platform for customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to the information of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or factories present the functions and characteristics of their
This word is normally spelled as one.
best sellers
via adverts, customers have the chance to know if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
satisfy their needs.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can always reach
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
audiences. Advertising messages can
be transmitted
through mass media, such as newspaper, magazines, television, allowing the
Consider using "public".
general public
to be aware of the existence of any new products.

However
, there are opposing voices. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is common to find that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adverts convey fake information. In order to persuade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
do exaggerate and distort the truth, which can
be considered
as a fraud.
Besides
, the commodities are
generally
getting more expensive due to the heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
For example
, once a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
highly
promoted, it becomes a luxury as it is well-known.
In this case
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will raise its price to
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
the profits.

I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
have a certain value in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
market. It is no doubt that the widespread advertising has
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. By reading the magazines or watching the TV ads, shoppers can acquire the latest promotions and on sale news, thereby purchasing the suitable items for themselves. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides on this trend, the adverse impacts can
be controlled
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
with the imposition of censorship.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that advertisement is useful and informative Others think it is false and only helps to raise prices 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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