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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree? v.9

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. v. 9
These days women are independent and they do require men in their entire life because they earn enough to look after themselves. I can partially agree with this view because there are many other women who feel men make women complete in their life. To begin, women empowerment and gender equality have made females courageous to detach men from their life. A large number of females nowadays work and stay alone at different locations. Urbanization and the cutting edge technology have largely contributed to the female security. Women feel safe in society because they can get help from the local officers within minutes via smartphones and various applications. For example, Bangalore in India is a crime free zone according to the Time report published last month. The report also said, instalments of various cameras and provisions to call for help have eradicated many criminals from the locality. For these reasons, women are reluctant to marry and prefer to stay alone. However, there are some women who desire, love and care. Even though they earn and feel safe in society, without man a life’s journey is incomplete. They wish to have someone besides them when they feel lonely and sad, someone to hold them and console them when are in agony. For example, In Mangalore, a number of females were treated for depression in the year 2019, and most of them were wealthy and unmarried. It is evident that women require men at some point of life. In conclusion, modern technology and national security system have caused women to stay single, however, it is imperative to have someone to love and care in our lives.
These days
women
are
independent and
they do require
men
in their entire life
because
they earn
enough
to look after themselves. I can
partially
agree
with this view
because
there are
many
other
women
who
feel
men
make
women
complete in their life.

To
begin
,
women
empowerment and gender equality have made
females
courageous to detach
men
from their life.
A large number of
females
nowadays work and stay alone at
different
locations. Urbanization and the cutting edge technology have
largely
contributed to the
female
security.
Women
feel
safe in society
because
they can
get
help
from the local officers within minutes via smartphones and various applications.
For example
, Bangalore in India is a crime free zone according to the Time report published last month. The report
also
said,
instalments
of various cameras and provisions to call for
help
have eradicated
many
criminals from the locality. For these reasons,
women
are reluctant to marry and prefer to stay alone.

However
, there are
some
women
who desire,
love
and care.
Even though
they earn and
feel
safe in society, without
man
a life’s journey is incomplete. They wish to have someone
besides
them when they
feel
lonely and sad, someone to hold them and console them when are in agony.
For example
, In Mangalore, a number of
females
were treated
for depression in the year 2019, and most of them were wealthy and unmarried. It is evident that
women
require
men
at
some
point of life.

In conclusion
, modern technology and national security system have caused
women
to stay single,
however
, it is imperative to have someone to
love
and care in our
lives
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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