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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people nbelieve that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v.2

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people nbelieve that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 2
Marriage is a beautiful union between two souls or family, however, a number of women in many countries are rejecting this idea. While some think that women are financially independent so Getting married is dispensable to meet financial needs from marriage, In my opinion, I completely agree with this above argument and I will discuss other factors as well on this topic supporting with examples below. One of the main reasons for women to reject marriage these days is education. Before women were restricted to be in four-walls house and no priority were given to girl-child education. This has changed from last few decades now parents are allowing their daughters to pursue their education as well as career which has made them strong enough to acknowledge their worth. For instance, if educated women is offered to get married a man who is uneducated, rather than getting married to him, they are now strong enough to reject such proposals unlike before. Moreover, education has empowered women to earn and become their own bread-winner which made them more independent to take their own decisions, although before women were restricted by their husbands, even if they just wanted to step out their homes but now this is changing in the society. As a result, women have become more independent and many choose to not to marry. Another important factor which is keeping women away from marriage fear of losing freedom. As women are more concern about their freedom to enjoy their life on their own conditions, which could be restricted in a committed relationship. For example, If women wanted to travel alone, unless husbands allowed them to go, they could not step out of their homes or conflicts may arise. In order to avoid such consequences women are choosing to stay single in many countries. Also, independent women have more flexibility to take their own life decisions rather than a woman who are financially dependent on others. However, such woman has no other option to meet their ends unless they get married. Therefore, financial security plays an imperative role to restrict many women from marriages. In conclusion, Although many women are refraining from marriages because they have their own financial support system, there are also other factors which contribute to this situation such as education and freedom. However, I believe that mainly women, are financially stable so not need financial security through marriage. Therefore, they are opting to stay single.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marriage
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
union between two souls or family,
however
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are rejecting this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
financially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so


Getting married is dispensable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
needs from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this above argument and I will discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors
as well
on this topic supporting with examples below.

One of the main reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to reject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
these days is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were restricted
to be in four-walls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and no priority were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to girl-child education.

This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from last few decades
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
parents are allowing their daughters to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as well
as career which has made them strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to acknowledge their worth.
For instance
, if educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is offered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
who
is uneducated
,
rather
than getting married to him, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to reject such proposals unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has empowered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to earn and become their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bread-winner which made them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were restricted
by their husbands, even if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted to step out their homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
this is changing in the society.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choose
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
marry.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor which is keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
fear of losing freedom. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more concern about their freedom to enjoy their life on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
conditions, which could
be restricted
in a committed relationship.

For example
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
wanted to travel alone, unless husbands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them to go, they could not step out of their homes or conflicts may arise. In order to avoid such consequences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are choosing to stay single in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have more flexibility to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life decisions
rather
than a woman who are
financially
dependent on others.
However
, such woman has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their ends unless they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
security plays an imperative role to restrict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from marriages.

In conclusion
, Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are refraining from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
support system, there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors which contribute to this situation such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and freedom.

However
, I believe that
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, are
financially
stable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
security through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
Therefore
, they are opting to stay single.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people nbelieve that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
407 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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