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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.1

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1
We are now living in a decade when self-employment and self-study become increasingly popular due to the tremendous impact of technologies. I notice that this trend is more beneficial rather than useless to humans. It appears that studying and working by ourselves has some downsides. Internet today includes a plethora of incorrect and confusing information that people can hardly absorb the accurate one about subjects, news, and skills. This is likely to lead to their alarming misunderstanding about everything, especially when they learn Math, History or work as an accountant which requires the exact correction in their knowledge. One more drawback is that it is sometimes difficult for them to do on their own as no one instructs them what to do with labyrinthine calculations, typing problems, exercises, and similar things. Despite the reasons above, I do emphasize the meaning of online schooling and doing jobs. First, individuals can easily gain so much flexibility in time, tasks and anything. For instance, if a pupil is busy attending a club in the morning, he can study in the afternoon or evening. Moreover, he can even opt for any course which is his favorite. Secondly, not only will people be able to control their environment but also not to bother anybody at all. To illustrate, a designer may tend to think more ideas for advertisements if he listens to loud music with the door shut in his bedroom. He can both enjoy his working habits and not be scared of being scolded for making noise by his parents. Finally, as they do everything themselves, there are no distractions from their friends or bosses and they therefore effectively concentrate on their tasks and accomplish them quickly without pressure. In short, however harmful homeschooling and teleworking are, I am the opinion that they positively influence people.
We are
now
living in a decade when self-employment and self-study become
increasingly
popular due to the tremendous impact of technologies. I notice that this trend is more beneficial
rather
than useless to humans.

It appears that studying and working by ourselves has
some
downsides. Internet
today
includes a plethora of incorrect and confusing information that
people
can hardly absorb the accurate one about subjects, news, and
skills
. This is likely to lead to their alarming misunderstanding about everything,
especially
when they learn Math, History or work as an accountant which requires the exact correction in their knowledge. One more drawback is that it is
sometimes
difficult for them to do on their
own
as no one instructs them what to do with labyrinthine calculations, typing problems, exercises, and similar things.

Despite the reasons above, I do emphasize the meaning of online schooling and doing jobs.
First
, individuals can
easily
gain
so
much flexibility in time, tasks and anything.
For instance
, if a pupil is busy attending a club in the morning, he can study in the afternoon or evening.
Moreover
, he can even opt for any course which is his favorite.
Secondly
, not
only
will
people
be able to control their environment
but
also
not to bother anybody at all. To illustrate, a designer may tend to
think
more
ideas
for advertisements if he listens to loud music with the door shut in his bedroom. He can both enjoy his working habits and not
be scared
of
being scolded
for making noise by his parents.
Finally
, as they do everything themselves, there are no distractions from their friends or
bosses and
they
therefore
effectively
concentrate on their tasks and accomplish them
quickly
without pressure.

In short,
however
harmful homeschooling and teleworking are, I am the opinion that they
positively
influence
people
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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