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In many countries women join the army as men do However some people argue that the army solely needs males What is your opinion v.1

In many countries women join the army as men do However some people argue that the army solely needs males What is your opinion v. 1
People work tirelessly throughout their lives to earn money. However, a major portion of their income is lost in the form of taxes. It is argued by some that the hard-earned money should be retained by the people, rather than paying a portion to the government in the form of taxes. I completely disagree with the above-mentioned statement and believe that it is entirely necessary to contribute to the government in the form of taxes. To begin with, some people are wary of contributing a part of their salary. Instead, they prefer to use the money for their own needs. Money is everything in today’s world and is used to buy most of the amenities including food, clothing and shelter. People need money for the good upbringing of their children and to have a healthy lifestyle. In addition, people also need money to invest and secure for their future. Also, certain rich or developed nation doesn’t tax their people. For instance, people working in certain Gulf countries are not obliged to pay taxes. Thus, people from certain sections of the society have apprehensions about paying taxes. However, the idea that people should not pay taxes is completely preposterous. Nevertheless, there are several reasons which states why citizens should oblige to pay. For the state to function efficiently and effectively it needs funds at its disposal, which is usually collected by the government in the form of taxes. Administration, defence and infrastructure development are all responsibilities of the government. These services are of utmost importance and would eventually prove to be advantageous for the people of the country, as this money would return to them in some form of service. Moreover, it is the responsibility of the individual to contribute to the social and economic progress of the country. To conclude, people advocating to the prospect that they should not be taxed have a flawed understanding about the topic. The ramifications of not paying taxes will have adverse impacts on the economy and the services which the government provides to the people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
work
tirelessly
throughout their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
, a major portion of their income
is lost
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be retained
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
rather
than paying a portion to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. I completely disagree with the above-mentioned statement and believe that it is
entirely
necessary to contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of taxes.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are wary of contributing a part of their salary.
Instead
, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is everything in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
most of the amenities including food, clothing and shelter.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
upbringing of their children and to have a healthy lifestyle.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to invest and secure for their future.
Also
, certain rich or developed nation doesn’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in certain Gulf countries are not obliged to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from certain sections of the society have apprehensions about paying taxes.

However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
is completely preposterous.
Nevertheless
, there are several reasons which states why citizens should oblige to pay. For the state to function
efficiently
and
effectively
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
funds at its disposal, which is
usually
collected by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
. Administration,
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
and infrastructure development are all responsibilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. These services are of utmost importance and would
eventually
prove to be advantageous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the country, as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would return to them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of service.
Moreover
, it is the responsibility of the individual to contribute to the social and economic progress of the country.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advocating to the prospect that they should not
be taxed
have a flawed understanding about the topic. The ramifications of not paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
will have adverse impacts on the economy and the services which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries women join the army as men do However some people argue that the army solely needs males What is your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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