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Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists. Do you agree or disagree? Support with reasons and examples from your own experience. v.4

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists. Support with reasons and examples from your own experience. v. 4
Recently there has been a public debate of whether the sphere of entertainment is far more valuable than the scientific one. Since two of these fields are extremely contraversive they cannot easily be confronted. However, I shall examine a number of profound impacts of each group on society which importance is virtually equal to some extent. To begin with, to raise national spirit is the main reason why the governments encourage the entertainers to proceed their activity. For instance, during wars, armed conflicts, global cataclysms and natural disasters they influence general mood what is highly critical and vital that in such sophisticated situations people be supported to maintain their inner desire to live. Let alone that in peaceful times this sphere contributes to the cultural development, thus, undoubtedly providing the importance of its. Nevertheless, those who are partisans of the opinion that scientists may benefit human sector far more efficiently provide mainly arguments linked to the healthcare and the technological environment. By virtue of inventing outstanding scientific inventions the only reason humanity has continued to dominate and to survive on the planet Earth for so long. Apparently, nobody can imaging the future without modern and futuristic technologies. That is why the merits of the science sector should not be underestimated. To summarize, both the humanitarian and the engineering industries have profound impacts on human well-being particularly. Although these two professions do not complement each other and hence exist separately without intersecting. Admittedly, no way humanity is expected to survive out pleasure and educational evolution.
Recently there has been a public debate of whether the sphere of entertainment is far more valuable than the scientific one.
Since
two of these fields are
extremely
contraversive
they cannot
easily
be confronted
.
However
, I shall examine a number of profound impacts of each group on society which importance is
virtually
equal to
some
extent.

To
begin
with, to raise national spirit is the main reason why the
governments
encourage the entertainers to proceed their activity.
For instance
, during wars, armed conflicts, global cataclysms and natural disasters they influence general mood what is
highly
critical and vital that in such sophisticated situations
people
be supported
to maintain their inner desire to
live
.
Let
alone that in peaceful times this sphere contributes to the cultural development,
thus
,
undoubtedly
providing the importance of its.

Nevertheless
, those who are partisans of the opinion that scientists may benefit human sector far more
efficiently
provide
mainly
arguments linked to the healthcare and the technological environment. By virtue of inventing outstanding scientific inventions the
only
reason humanity has continued to dominate and to survive on the planet Earth for
so
long.
Apparently
, nobody can imaging the future without modern and futuristic technologies.
That is
why the merits of the science sector should not
be underestimated
.

To summarize
, both the humanitarian and the engineering industries have profound impacts on human well-being
particularly
. Although these two professions do not complement each other and
hence
exist
separately
without intersecting.
Admittedly
, no way humanity is
expected
to survive out pleasure and educational evolution.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists. Support with reasons and examples from your own experience. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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