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In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree? v.2

In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 2
People always need basic requirements. In the world, some countries do not have adequate essential life standards such as health, schooling, commerce. There are several arguments. Some people believe that nations ought to care for the other poorer ones. In this essay, I will either agree or disagree with the statement. Firstly, I will discuss the benefits of being world citizenship and helpfulness whilst aiding the other societies in the Earth, and secondly, I will explore the negative impacts of the country budgetary and its own essentials when supporting. In my opinion, one of the great advantages of helping is being a world citizen. The Earth is just one we have. Everybody can act all together as a whole to meet fundamentals. Individuals are strong when they are together. Furthermore, helpfulness is one of the most gorgeous humanity items. For example, when someone aids the other one, He/She can fulfil an emotional gap via that kind of activity and also can create a connection between the other side. Following, every country has own financial plans. Responsibilities to others may occur a risk for them. For instance, they can use their money for improving the education or health system. Maybe, they can find a new way for one disease and this is a risk. Each community has own insufficiencies. So, they have to figure out at high efficiency. In conclusion, the benefits of helping poorer side of the nature are always a good idea. Therefore, I believe and support this argument.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
always need basic requirements. In the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries do not have adequate essential life standards such as health, schooling, commerce. There are several arguments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that nations ought to care for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
poorer ones. In this essay, I will either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree with the statement.
Firstly
, I will discuss the benefits of being world citizenship and helpfulness whilst aiding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
societies in the Earth, and
secondly
, I will explore the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of the country budgetary and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
essentials when supporting.

In my opinion, one of the great advantages of helping is being a world citizen. The Earth is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one we have. Everybody can act all together as a whole to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
fundamentals. Individuals are strong when they are together.
Furthermore
, helpfulness is one of the most gorgeous humanity items.
For example
, when someone aids the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one, He/She can fulfil an emotional gap via that kind of activity and
also
can create a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side.

Following, every country has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
financial plans. Responsibilities to others may occur a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for them.
For instance
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their money for improving the education or health system. Maybe, they can find a new way for one disease and this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. Each community has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
insufficiencies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
figure out at high efficiency.

In conclusion
, the benefits of helping poorer side of the nature are always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Therefore
, I believe and support this argument.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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