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Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.2

Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 2
No doubt that cars make our life easier, and play a role in terms of the improvement of different aspects of our life. Such as business, education, medicine and so on. However, besides the positive side, cars have a negative side too and causing a traffic jam is one of them. In this essay, I will discuss my view about this problem and suggest feasible ways the government might follow to diminish this issue. Certainly, the number of cars has been increased over the year due to the population raising. Moreover, each family owns at least one car, and if we count all of them, absolutely we will be shocked by the gigantic number of these automobiles in total. To work on this problem, the government should provide many effective strategies. The most workable one is supporting public transportation. This support could be on multiple sides like doing regular maintenance and cleaning. Also, a list of rules and regulations related to public transportation should be reinforced and followed by the people. Another strategy that we can add here is raising awareness about pollution, and how we can minimize the rate of it by less using cars. The fuel, smoke and other harmful materials that come out form engines can do badly to our environment. In conclusion, cars are mesmerized innovations in this life. Although they have benefits, they cause obstacles. It is clear that traffic jams everywhere. We need to overcome this issue by finding ways to reduce the number of daily operated cars. It might be achieved by supporting the public transportation or by increasing the awareness about our fumigated environment.
No doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life easier, and play a role in terms of the improvement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of our life. Such as business, education, medicine and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
,
besides
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side too and causing a traffic jam is one of them. In this essay, I will discuss my view about this problem and suggest feasible ways the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
might follow to diminish this issue.

Certainly
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has
been increased
over the year due to the population raising.
Moreover
, each family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, and if we count all of them,
absolutely
we will
be shocked
by the gigantic number of these automobiles in total.

To work on this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effective strategies. The most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
workable
one is supporting public transportation. This support could be on multiple sides like doing regular maintenance and cleaning.
Also
, a list of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations related to public transportation should
be reinforced
and followed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Another strategy that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
here is raising awareness about pollution, and how we can minimize the rate of it by less using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. The fuel, smoke and other harmful materials that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out form engines can do
badly
to our environment.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are mesmerized
innovations in this life. Although they have benefits, they cause obstacles. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that traffic jams everywhere. We need to overcome this issue by finding ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of daily operated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. It might
be achieved
by supporting the public transportation or by increasing the awareness about our fumigated environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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