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In many countries woman no longer feel the need to get married. some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring to what extent do you agree? v.3

In many countries woman no longer feel the need to get married. some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring v. 3
With the rise in modernization, a man has transformed his life tremendously. He has progressed from Walking barefooted in the jungles to take first step on the moon. I like to support this view to some extent females will spending self-dependent life in the contemporary era, woman should do not require economy service that wedding and independent live in the era? To begin with, female are able to earn money in life without marriage. Unfortunately, they are earned alot of money. They have fulfilled financial source do working in office. The best epitome of this is United state of America were equality law for female. I agree in principle but, the woman without wedding for required economic services in zest. The woman is walking freely and do working with shoulder of men. They are achieving success in life. They had spent entertainment life. They had not dominating under male. They are spending a leisure life. They make decisions upon own opinion. The best illustration this is Condoleeza rice was the first African-American female secretary of state without marriage. I almost agree with the given statement but also reveal that there are more reasons for this, I shall explore reluctant no doubt, financial is also prestigious for survival but there are another factor which are responsible for good zest. The women do not married in the era, but the life-cycle of generation is highly effective. The bad impact on the growth of population. so, marriage is essential for everyone to enjoyed the life. To conclude that, the nations woman no larger feel to expect proposal of wedding. But, without marriage is not fulfilling all requirements. They will not achieving success in life. Do not easily solved critical situation but other side divorces, dowry are major role to bad effect in the world. That cause female are not accept proposal of marriage. so, that effect of women to preferred self-dependent life.
With the rise in modernization, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has transformed his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
tremendously
. He has progressed from Walking barefooted in the jungles to take
first
step on the moon.

I like to support this view to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
will spending self-dependent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
should do not require economy service that wedding and independent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the era?

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
are able to earn money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. Unfortunately, they
are earned
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of money. They have fulfilled financial source
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go working".
do working
in office. The best epitome of this
is United
state of America were equality law for female.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
in principle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
without wedding for required economic services in zest. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
is walking
freely
and
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go working".
do working
with shoulder of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. They are achieving success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They had spent entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
had not dominating under male.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
are spending a leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions upon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion. The best illustration this is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Condoleeza
rice was the
first
African-American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
secretary of state without marriage.

I almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
reveal that there are more reasons for this, I shall explore reluctant no doubt, financial is
also
prestigious for survival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are another factor which are responsible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
zest. The women do not married in the era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the life-cycle of generation is
highly
effective. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the growth of population.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is essential for everyone
Did you mean "to enjoy"?
to enjoyed
the life.

To conclude
that, the nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
no larger feel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
proposal of wedding.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is not fulfilling all requirements. They will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "achieve"
achieving
success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Do not
easily
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "solve"?
solved
critical situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other side divorces, dowry are major role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect in the world. That cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
are not
Consider using a past participle here: "accepted".
accept
proposal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, that effect of women to preferred self-dependent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries woman no longer feel the need to get married. some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require financial security that marriage can bring v. 3

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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