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In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree? v.4

In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 4
We have observed ginormous change in the women freedom and independence during last few years. Some people are satisfied with the observation that such freedom are after-effect of humongous shift of women from homemaker to working class. This change has contributed towards their financial independence. 21st century women need not to depend on their husbands to live their livelihood. I completely agree with mentioned observation that the need of marriage for women has reduced due to their financial freedom. Based on the anecdotal reports available on internet, we can observe that today’s average women marriage age has reached to closure to thirties. Their focus has shifted from settling in the family after marriage to making up their own career. Looking for right groom to get marriage, who can look after them during their old age and during the time of need no more a primarily concern. They would like to become right lady indeed. Moreover, they would like to enjoy their freedom and financial situation is no more a matter of concern for them. Further, in spite of attaining financial freedom, such delay in marriage lead them towards the situations to fulfil the natural needs, which are still not acceptable in our society. Women need to understands that marriage to just not a source of financial security for them. Making up a family and having kids gives them inner satisfaction, which cannot be achieved from money. There are certain laws of nature which everyone need to abide with. We do agree that with the growing financial independence and self confidence in women, they are contributing remarkable towards the society and become a paragon of successful women, but target to become paragon of virtue is the need of society. In the end, we truly agree with the fact that financial security attained by the women of 21st century is remarkable achievement done which has directly or indirectly deferred their marriage age to a greater extent and abated their need of marriage to some extent.
We have observed ginormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
and independence during last few years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are satisfied
with the observation that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
are after-effect of humongous shift of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
from homemaker to working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has contributed towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
independence. 21st century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
not
Did you mean "depend"?
to depend
on their husbands to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their livelihood. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with mentioned observation that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
has


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
reduced
due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
freedom.

Based on the anecdotal reports available on internet, we can observe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
age has reached to closure to thirties. Their focus has shifted from settling in the family after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
to making up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career. Looking for right groom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, who can look after them during their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age and during the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
no more a
You used an adverb ('primarily') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('concern') instead of another adjective.
primarily concern
. They would like to become right lady
indeed
.
Moreover
, they would like to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
situation is no more a matter of concern for them.

Further
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
attaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
, such delay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
lead them towards the situations to fulfil the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, which are
still
not acceptable in our society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "understand".
understands
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
security for them. Making up a family and having kids gives them inner satisfaction, which cannot
be achieved
from money. There are certain laws of nature which everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to abide with. We do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that with the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
independence and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, they are contributing remarkable towards the society and become a paragon of successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
target to become paragon of virtue is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of society.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, we
truly
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
security attained by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of 21st century is remarkable achievement done which has
directly
or
indirectly
deferred their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
age to a greater extent and abated their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, woman no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because woman are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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