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Some people choose to eat no fish or meat. They believe that this is not better for your own health but also benefits the world as whole. Discuss these view and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people choose to eat no fish or meat. They believe that this is not better for your own health but also benefits the world as whole. Discuss these view and give your own opinion. v. 1
Electronic medium such as online education system is a day by day favoured in the business. Advantages of this aspect certainly are more than the disadvantages. This essay narrates details about both the aspects with points mentioning about how it is more advantageous. On the one hand, comfort of grabbing knowledge by avoiding commute is the trend nowadays. Because too much time gets wasted in commute to the education centre. For example, if an institution is in another country, it is too costly and time consuming to attend such learning events. This is the major reason behind accepting online training and education. Moreover, apart from comfort and time spent to attend, there are great savings possible in terms of educational fees. For example, trainer of college does not have to set up rooms for students along with a whiteboard and chairs. On the other hand, drawback of this system is attention of students on the subject, because a student is not monitored directly, it is very likely that pupils are doing other personal things which are diverting the mindset from teacher’s explanation. Face to face education system, which is traditional, has power to safeguard students from these distractions. For instance, multiple students can do the assignment of colouring the large paintings together in presence of a teacher, which will lead to group learning and bonding. Furthermore, examination if conducted remotely, there is a high chance of plagiarism, which will be detrimental to students’ career. To illustrate, in online training using Facebook, multiple students had submitted same assignment by only changing the name of the submitter. To sum up, there are many advantages for distance learning using latest medium, with minor drawbacks, so definitely, the online education’s advantageseducation’s advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Electronic medium such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is a day by day
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
in the business. Advantages of this aspect
certainly
are more than the disadvantages. This essay narrates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about both the aspects with points
Did you mean simply "mentioning how"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioning about how
it is more advantageous.

On the one hand, comfort of grabbing knowledge by avoiding commute is the trend nowadays.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
too much time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
wasted in commute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
For example
, if an institution is in another country, it is too costly and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
to attend such learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. This is the major reason behind accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
training and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
, apart from comfort and time spent to attend, there are great savings possible in terms of educational fees.
For example
, trainer of college does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
set up rooms for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
along with a whiteboard and chairs.

On the other hand
, drawback of this system is attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
on the subject,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is not monitored
directly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
likely that pupils are doing other personal things which are diverting the mindset from teacher’s explanation. Face to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system, which is traditional, has power to safeguard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from these distractions.
For instance
, multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can do the assignment of
Possible spelling mistake found.
colouring
the large paintings together in presence of a teacher, which will lead to group learning and bonding.
Furthermore
, examination if conducted
remotely
, there is a high chance of plagiarism, which will be detrimental to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
career. To illustrate, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
training using Facebook, multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had submitted same assignment by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
changing the name of the submitter.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for distance learning
If 'learning' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to use".
using
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
medium, with minor drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
definitely, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantageseducation
’s advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people choose to eat no fish or meat. They believe that this is not better for your own health but also benefits the world as whole. Discuss these view and give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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