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In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v.6

In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 6
Nowadays, People are more interested in holding fashionable wedding ceremonies and they spend a big amount of money for celebrating their marriage parties, while it was totally different in the past. In my opinion, this trend can be seen as both negative and positive developments. Firstly, the families tries to show their wealth, authority and fame to the other people. By spending money on expensive decorations and by the preparing variety of food items to the guests. Let's take an example a rich family from South Africa organized their son’s marriage near the beaches of Cape Town in 2001. This wedding generated enormous amounts of waste and resulted in the death of many sea animals which consumed the waste items thinking they were food. The government also had to spend huge amounts of money to clean up the garbage. On the other hand, there are a few positive aspects of having the huge weddings. One of them is that they can create jobs for local people or help to grow the local businesses. For example, India’s richest person, Mr. Ambani spent around 100 million dollars on his daughter’s wedding. This big wedding created around 20, 000 jobs. They also invited local businesses to produce handicrafts and ethnic clothing items that could be given away as presents to invitees. Thus, having a big marriage event does have some positive outcomes. To conclude, bigger and expensive weddings do benefit the economy in some way. However, in my opinion, the environmental damage they cause is too serious to be overlooked and hence, this practice should be discouraged.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are more interested in holding fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ceremonies and
they spend a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of money for celebrating their marriage parties, while it was
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in the past. In my opinion, this trend can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments.

Firstly
, the families tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their wealth, authority and fame to the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. By spending money on expensive decorations and by the preparing variety of food items to the guests.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take an example a rich family from South Africa organized their son’s marriage near the beaches of Cape Town in 2001. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
generated enormous amounts of waste and resulted in the death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sea animals which consumed the waste items thinking they were food. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
had to spend huge amounts of money to clean up the garbage.

On the other hand
, there are a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of having the huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
. One of them is that they can create jobs for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to grow the local businesses.
For example
, India’s richest person, Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
spent around 100 million dollars on his daughter’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
created around 20, 000 jobs. They
also
invited local businesses to produce handicrafts and ethnic clothing items that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
away as presents to invitees.
Thus
, having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
marriage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes.

To conclude
, bigger and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
do benefit the economy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
way.
However
, in my opinion, the environmental damage they cause is too serious to
be overlooked
and
hence
, this practice should
be discouraged
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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