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The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems in order to reduce these problems. Should we discourage people to use cars. v.3

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems in order to reduce these problems. Should we discourage people to use cars. v. 3
The whole world has changed into a small village due to advanced technology in few decades. In the modern era, having own car has become a necessity for every human being to save precious time, for relaxation and security, but it has started putting a reverse effect on the environment and socially as well. In the following paragraphs, I will shed some problems and solutions how to overcome this situation. To begin with, personal vehicle also leads to road accidents owing to the bad condition of road service, because everyone wants to go first rather than second. Moreover, private cars are giving an invitation to traffic congestion, which attack at the precious time. Like people have to get ready in advance to reach their destination and spend most of their time in traffic. Furthermore, I think that it has become a status symbol among the individuals that put them into debt, which is not easy to come out from this condition. As well, the consumption of private automobiles is touching the peak level in order to make life comfortable, but they don't know that the rate of fuel also increase which cannot be affordable for the poor population. For instance, those people who use public transportation, they will have to pay the fare in a large amount. In addition, emerging smoke from this type of transport will affect the climate, because fresh will be started converting into pollution, which is very harmful for human lives. The government should impose higher taxes on private cars and improve road conditions which can be helpful to tackle this complicated to some extent and other way, the legal authorities should improve the comfort and convenient transportation for people such as buses, trains and metros, because the level of traffic and pollution would definitely decline in the following years. Apart from this, the car manufacturers should invent on the electric transports, which emit less smoke as compared to ordinary ones. Lastly a lot of green parks should establish and organize seminars to protect our environment as well as ecosystems. To sum up, it can be said that this is not only prime responsibility of government, but individuals should also come forward to figure out of legal obstacles. If it didn't less, it will be very dangerous for present and coming generation.
The whole world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village due to advanced technology in few decades. In the modern era, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has become a necessity for every human being to save precious time, for relaxation and security,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
putting a reverse effect on the environment and
socially
as well
. In the following paragraphs, I will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems and solutions how to overcome this situation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, personal vehicle
also
leads to road accidents owing to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
condition of road service,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone wants to go
first
rather
than second.
Moreover
, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are giving an invitation to traffic congestion, which attack at the precious time. Like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready in advance to reach their destination and spend most of their time in traffic.
Furthermore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has become a status symbol among the individuals that put them into debt, which is not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from this condition.
As well
, the consumption of private automobiles is touching the peak level in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life comfortable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don't know that the rate of fuel
also
increase which cannot be affordable for the poor population.
For instance
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay the fare in a large amount.
In addition
, emerging smoke from this type of transport will affect the climate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
fresh will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
converting into pollution, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose higher taxes on private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
road conditions which can be helpful to tackle this complicated to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and other way, the legal authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the comfort and convenient transportation for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as buses, trains and metros,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the level of traffic and pollution would definitely decline in the following years. Apart from this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
manufacturers should invent on the electric transports, which emit less smoke as compared to ordinary ones.
Lastly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
green parks should establish and organize seminars to protect our environment
as well
as ecosystems.

To sum up, it can
be said
that this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prime responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
individuals should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to figure out of legal obstacles. If it didn't less, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for present and coming generation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems in order to reduce these problems. Should we discourage people to use cars. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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