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In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v.1

In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1
We live in a world which everything is being judgmental according to its appearance. Recently, wedding parties have become more expensive than later. Some people think that according to be unique, they have to pay more for everything. This has led to many negative consequences. This essay shows the demerits of high cost weddings. In the past, the main aim of marriage celebrations was to share partner’s happiness with their friends and relatives without thinking of any inessential things. Thus, they were trying to make it as simple as they could. Most of weddings contain the same things such as flowers, music and food. Recently, partners who are planning to marry start to develop these things into another types, which seem to be more expensive. As a consequence, most of wedding parties have become greater than before by using unbeneficial components. For instance, in Egypt, recently, some of people have tended to cancel their wedding parties because of the exaggerated cost of every tiny detail and they choose to celebrate with the closest relatives and friends at home. Moreover, everything have been easier to be known because of the social media. Most of people, especially youth and adults, consider celebrities role model and try to imitate the in everything. It has led to thinking of insignificant things instead of being realistic and determining their needs. To illustrate, if one of the known people made a great wedding and the public started to talk about it too much, everyone will dream with such a great wedding like that. It has led to, in the Middle East, as an example, significantly raising in all weddings’ costs. In conclusion, however, in some countries people really care of doing big weddings, in other societies they think more of beneficial impacts of such these celebrations. It is highly recommended that in next years, there are will be more controls on wedding costs.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
is being judgmental according to its appearance. Recently,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
parties have become more expensive than later.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that according to be unique, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
. This has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the demerits of high cost weddings.

In the past, the main aim of marriage celebrations was to share partner’s happiness with their friends and relatives without thinking of any inessential things.
Thus
, they were trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it as simple as they could. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
contain the same things such as flowers, music and food. Recently, partners who are planning to marry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to develop these things into another types, which seem to be more expensive. As a consequence, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
parties have become greater than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
by using
Possible spelling mistake found.
unbeneficial
components.
For instance
, in Egypt, recently,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have tended to cancel their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
parties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the exaggerated cost of every tiny
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
detail and
they choose to celebrate with the closest relatives and friends at home.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
have been easier to
be known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the social media. Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
youth and adults, consider celebrities role model and try to imitate the in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everything
. It has led to thinking of insignificant things
instead
of being realistic and determining their needs. To illustrate, if one of the known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
made a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and the public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to talk about it too much, everyone will dream with such a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
like that. It has led to, in the Middle East, as an example,
significantly
raising in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings’
costs.

In conclusion
,
however
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
really
care of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
, in other societies they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more of beneficial impacts of such these celebrations. It is
highly
recommended that in
next
years, there are will be more controls on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
costs.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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