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In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v.3

In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 3
Weddings are become massive and need a huge amount of money in many countries. In my opinion, nowadays it is fancy to prepare for this event. According to, the ancestors become richer more than before. The people can arrange for an enormous wedding because of the development of the materials align with preparing for marriage. Firstly, the events of marriage it needs immense places for calibrating and showing off, While many relatives and known people are invited. For example, Egypt in 2020 the nuptial of the son of the president that many crucial people are invited and celebrating with the couple that they tied the knot in a giant hall that has the capacity for more than 5000 guests. As a result, the designers decide to establish a huge chamber. Furthermore, guests put more concentration on exterior preparation. Therefore, couples try to make a charming and luxurious wedding, but people in the past were simple and reasonable in their arrangements. Secondly, the situation in any country that helped to raise the cost of the dress, rent for hale, the cost of jewelry and the arrangement inside it. However, it is an unforgettable memory that will settle on the mind for along life. For instance, the wedding of prince harry and his wife. That is written in all of the newspapers in all countries in 2020. Its value was high; it requires a vast amount of money because of its recipe, but it provides thrilled among the metropolitan with song and flashy design for the event. In conclusion, wedding places are substantial. Concerning, the significant marriage happened nowadays more than before. I do agree with, the price of arrangement for the marriage ceremony is extravagant indeed, ancestors become wealthier.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Weddings
are become
massive and need a huge amount of money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. In my opinion, nowadays it is fancy to prepare for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. According to, the ancestors become richer more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can arrange for an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of the materials align with preparing for marriage.

Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of marriage it needs immense places for calibrating and showing off, While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
relatives and known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are invited
.
For example
, Egypt in 2020 the nuptial of the son of the president that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are invited
and celebrating with the couple that they tied the knot in a giant hall that has the capacity for more than 5000 guests.
As a result
, the designers decide to establish a huge chamber.
Furthermore
, guests put more concentration on exterior preparation.
Therefore
, couples try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a charming and luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past were simple and reasonable in their arrangements.

Secondly
, the situation in any country that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to raise the cost of the dress, rent for hale, the cost of jewelry and the arrangement inside it.
However
, it is an unforgettable memory that will settle on the mind for along life.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
prince harry
and his wife. That
is written
in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
newspapers in all countries in 2020. Its value was high; it requires a vast amount of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its recipe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it provides thrilled among the metropolitan with song and flashy design for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
places are substantial. Concerning, the significant marriage happened nowadays more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with, the price of arrangement for the marriage ceremony is extravagant
indeed
, ancestors become wealthier.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay In many countries, weddings are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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