Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development? v.4

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? v. 4
It is undeniable fact that these days people are having a baby at their thirties this is due to modern lifestyles. I believe that this comes with some drawbacks. One of the important reasons is that giving priority to their careers first. They want to be financially stable and strong enough to properly take charge of the new responsibility. Financial back-up is very much necessary in order to lead a happy married life. For instance, it is seen that most of the tensions and internal conflicts in families are due to the monetary crisis, which is the biggest threat to any marriage. Therefore, we want to be financially stable and well established in our careers in order to take up any new relationship to the next level. However, the negative aspect is age difference between parents and children brings problems and conflicts. Parents cannot understand the feeling of their kids. Take a teenager as an example, if he wanted to listen to music loudly, their parents would likely to argue with him as they may not tolerate the noise. These kinds of arguments, eventually, would take its toll on the relationship between parents and their children. Moreover, a female could have difficulties giving birth in her thirties due to infertility. Actually, as a woman grows older, her chances of getting pregnant reduces. After all, science has proven that most female reproductive organs are usually more fertile at a younger age. In conclusion, though the positive side of marrying late are certainly evident, the negative impacts are more alarming and therefore they cannot be ignored
It is undeniable fact that these days
people
are having a baby at their thirties this is due to modern lifestyles. I believe that this
comes
with
some
drawbacks.

One of the
important
reasons is that giving priority to their careers
first
. They want to be
financially
stable and strong
enough
to
properly
take charge of the new responsibility. Financial back-up is
very
much necessary in order to lead a happy married life.
For instance
, it is
seen
that most of the tensions and internal conflicts in families are due to the monetary crisis, which is the biggest threat to any marriage.
Therefore
, we want to be
financially
stable and well established in our careers in order to take up any new relationship to the
next
level.

However
, the
negative
aspect is age difference between
parents
and children brings problems and conflicts.
Parents
cannot understand the feeling of their kids. Take a
teenager
as an example, if he wanted to listen to music
loudly
, their
parents
would likely to argue with him as they may not tolerate the noise. These kinds of arguments,
eventually
, would take its toll on the relationship between
parents
and their children.

Moreover
, a female could have difficulties giving birth in her thirties due to infertility. Actually, as a woman grows older, her chances of getting pregnant
reduces
.
After all
, science has proven that most female reproductive organs are
usually
more fertile at a younger age.

In conclusion
, though the
positive
side of marrying late are
certainly
evident, the
negative
impacts are more alarming and
therefore
they cannot be
ignored
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts