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In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.8

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 8
Nowadays, information plays an essential role in our daily life. Many people get information from traditional media, such as reading newspapers, watching TV, listening to radio. It should be said that, today online media, especially social media is much more broaden in our lives, especially among young generation. Traditional media is getting weaker amongst audience. So, what are the causes of that? Why young people avoid to get news from TV and newspapers? Let`s take a look on this issue. First of all, the reason might be speed. Young generation is more impatient than older one. Young audience want to get information much rapidly and to read newspapers can be just wasting of time to them. On the other hand, today, smartphones have a huge impact on people. From this point of view, people can get information from online tools everywhere by their smartphones: metro, bus, on the roads, schools and so forth. As it mentioned before, social media is almost an evitable part of our daily lives. Consumers can get information from social media easily. Twitter especially has a great role from this point of view. Secondly, traditional media doesn`t have much more options than new media. For example, you don`t have so many options, you need to follow the news which is shown on TV, it doesn`t matter, this news is interesting for you or not. However, online media can suggests you many options which it gives you an opportunity to choose the one you wanted to know. Overall, today, reading newspapers and watching TV is getting out-to-date activity for people. The more technology develops, the more traditional media will be no longer to be in use. Even young people are being too lazy for eating, and they prefer to eat on computers, what can we anticipate from them?
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
plays an essential role in our daily life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, such as reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, watching TV, listening to radio. It should
be said
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
especially
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is much more broaden in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is getting weaker
Do not mix variants of the same word ('amongst' and 'among') within a single text.
amongst
audience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what are the causes of that? Why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
`s take a look on this issue.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the reason might
be speed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
generation is more impatient than older one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
audience want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
much
rapidly
and to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wasting of time to them.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, smartphones have a huge impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From this point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from online tools everywhere by their smartphones: metro, bus, on the roads, schools and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.

As it mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is almost an
Possible spelling mistake found.
evitable
part of our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Consumers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
easily
. Twitter
especially
has a great role from this point of view.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "doesn't" or "doesn’t".
doesn`t
have much more options than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For example
, you
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "don't" or "don’t".
don`t
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options, you need to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which
is shown
on TV, it
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "doesn't" or "doesn’t".
doesn`t
matter, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is interesting for you or not.
However
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can suggests you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options which it gives you an opportunity to choose the one you wanted to know.

Overall
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and watching TV is getting out-to-date activity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The more technology develops, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will be no longer to be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are being too lazy for eating, and they prefer to eat on computers, what can we anticipate from them?
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 8

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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