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In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v.2

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2
Businesses devote millions every year to online commercials, print ads and posters. These advertisements can influence the public to purchase products that they don’t need in their lives. Firstly, this essay will discuss the main positive aspect of businesses doing well and secondly the primary negative effect of impulsive purchases. On the one hand, the law of supply and demand is perhaps one of the most fundamental concepts of economics and it is the backbone of the market economy. The higher the demand means the greater the supply and on top of that it can provide employment to a lot of people. Furthermore, this helps in the improvement of the economy of a country because of its massive tax revenues. For instance, an article from Business Mirror China in 2016 revealed that 90% of Chinese job seekers had landed jobs provided by mobile companies while it increased their gross domestic product. On the other hand, persuasive commercials can initiate impulsive buying. This is the tendency for a customer to buy goods and services without planning in advance, as a consumer takes such a buying decision in the spur of the moment, it is triggered by emotions and feelings and more often than not they would usually end up having a lot of debts. This is because they would use their credit cards or submit themselves to loan sharks just to buy the products that they thought they needed. For example, a study by Metrobank Philippines in 2016 discovered that 90% of credit card loaners who weren’t able to pay their monthly dues came from online shoppers. In conclusion, consumerism may have obvious positive aspects like employment for some people, however, having a large number of debts because of impulsive buying is a bigger problem because people will need to pay not only for the price of the product but the added interest as well.
Businesses devote millions every year to online commercials, print ads and posters. These advertisements can influence the public to
purchase
products that they don’t need in their
lives
.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the main
positive
aspect of businesses doing well and
secondly
the primary
negative
effect of impulsive
purchases
.

On the one hand, the law of supply and demand is perhaps one of the most fundamental concepts of economics and it is the backbone of the market economy. The higher the demand means the greater the supply and
on top of that
it can provide employment to
a lot of
people
.
Furthermore
, this
helps
in the improvement of the economy of a country
because
of its massive tax revenues.
For instance
, an article from Business Mirror China in 2016 revealed that 90% of Chinese job seekers had landed jobs provided by mobile
companies
while it increased their gross domestic product.

On the other hand
, persuasive commercials can initiate impulsive buying. This is the tendency for a customer to
buy
goods
and services without planning in advance, as a consumer takes such a buying decision in the spur of the moment, it
is triggered
by emotions and feelings and more
often
than not they would
usually
end
up having
a lot of
debts. This is
because
they would
use
their credit cards or submit themselves to loan sharks
just
to
buy
the products that they
thought
they needed.
For example
, a study by
Metrobank
Philippines in 2016 discovered that 90% of credit card loaners who weren’t able to pay their monthly dues came from online shoppers.

In conclusion
, consumerism may have obvious
positive
aspects like employment for
some
people
,
however
, having
a large number of
debts
because
of impulsive buying is a bigger problem
because
people
will need to pay not
only
for the price of the product
but
the
added
interest
as well
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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