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In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? • What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.6

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? • What solutions can you suggest? v. 6
Several individuals realize that if the public gets permission to work since the age of 60, which will create numerous dilemmas for the young generation. Similarly, I also clinch this assertion and explain why this opinion is viable according to me. Let us understand the reason why working after the age of 60 is harmful to the teenager. To begin with, the most inconvenient matter is rising unemployment issues in the country. When the older generation keeps their job position that time the adolescent will not get a job opportunity. As a result, the younger feels several mental problems like depression, anxiety, and frustration. For instance, a local newspaper published news that about 60% of crimes were committed by the young group last year in Bangladesh because of lacking jobs. Besides, lack of experience is another minus point which cannot be disregarded as well. If youngsters do not involve any workplace, they cannot gain experience in their next life. On the other flip side of the coin, it may be said that the older person is more experience rather than teenagers and they may make a better decision, which helps to improve business probably. However, I understand that young people are not only creative, but also a hard worker than they. For example, research indicated that the young generation is more active and intelligent compared to the elderly people; therefore, the junior can boost productivity in recent days. To conclude, it is true that when people touch 60 years old, they lose creativity and become inactive. Thus, I believe that they should leave their place for youngsters to solve their obstacles
Several individuals realize that if the public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
permission to work since the age of 60, which will create numerous dilemmas for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
Similarly
, I
also
clinch this assertion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why this opinion is viable according to me.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us understand the reason why working after the age of 60 is harmful to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most inconvenient matter is rising unemployment issues in the country.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
the older generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
their job position that time the adolescent will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job opportunity.
As a result
, the younger feels several mental problems like depression, anxiety, and frustration.
For instance
, a local newspaper published news that about 60% of crimes
were committed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
group last year in Bangladesh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lacking jobs.
Besides
, lack of experience is another minus point which cannot
be disregarded
as well
. If youngsters do not involve any workplace, they cannot gain experience in their
next
life.

On the other flip side of the coin, it may
be said
that the older person is more experience
rather
than
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teenagers and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better decision, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
business
probably
.
However
, I understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
creative,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
worker than they.
For example
, research indicated that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is more active and intelligent compared to the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
;
therefore
, the junior can boost productivity in recent days.

To conclude
, it is true that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
touch 60 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they lose creativity and become inactive.
Thus
, I believe that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their place for youngsters to solve their obstacles
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? • What solutions can you suggest? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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