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In many countries traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effects on families, individuals and the society. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion. v.2

In many countries traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effects on families, individuals and the society. Give your opinion. v. 2
People divide into tow campuses about the shopping online' benefits. While people, proponents, Say that shopping online provides an abundant option for consumers and save their time, opponents of this idea claim that the online shopping increase marketing cheating. It seems to my thinking way that the commercial trade, alternative method, helps the buyer to compare between different brands and save their time and money. Firstly, people using the internet to shop have various options in order to compare and get a best deal. If you go to specific mall, you will have limited options. Even though this market is a large, it cannot provide for you everything. Moreover, the price in market place logical will be higher than commercial sites, because this traditional market place should buy for rent, electricity, water, parkings bills. In contrast, if you shopping online, you will find the bulk of of products with lower price, because the commercial trader just pays for an internet domain, price under 20 dollars per year. Secondly, it can be deniable that some shopping online inherent risk. The proponents say that if you were shopping online, no one would guarantee that you will get your order. Additionally, they say that maybe you got your order, but it maybe would come with different size and bad quality. However, it needlessly advice that people should shop from authentic commercial websites in order to protect their self. Second criticism says there a lot of cyber attacks trying stolen the consumers' information. This flawed in commercial trade, but the consumers can avoid this if he uses a credit card. In conclusion, I adamantly support people to shop online because they will can save their money and comparison different items in a few minutes. Moreover, there are some criticisms about their quality and privacy in online shopping, but these could avoidable. If people visit famous websites providing high security system, and using a prepaid band card instead of a debate card.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
divide into tow campuses about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
online' benefits. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, proponents, Say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
provides an abundant option for consumers and save their time, opponents of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
claim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
increase marketing cheating. It seems to my thinking way that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
trade, alternative method,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the buyer to compare between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands and save their time and money.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using the internet to shop have various options in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to compare and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best deal. If you go to specific mall, you will have limited options.
Even though
this market is a large, it cannot provide for you everything.
Moreover
, the price in market place logical will be higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
sites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this traditional market place should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
for rent, electricity, water,
Possible spelling mistake found.
parkings
bills.
In contrast
, if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, you will find the bulk
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
products with lower price,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
trader
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pays for an internet domain, price under 20 dollars per year.

Secondly
, it can be deniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
inherent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. The proponents say that if you were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, no one would guarantee that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
.
Additionally
, they say that maybe you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it maybe would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
size and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality.
However
, it
needlessly
advice that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should shop from authentic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
websites in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to protect their self. Second criticism says there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber attacks
trying stolen the consumers' information. This flawed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
trade,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the consumers can avoid this if he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
a credit card.

In conclusion
, I
adamantly
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Two modal verbs connected. Did you mean: "will, can", "will" or "can"?
will can
save their money and comparison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
items in a few minutes.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criticisms about their quality and privacy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
could avoidable
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
websites providing high security system, and using a prepaid band card
instead
of a debate card.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effects on families, individuals and the society. Give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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