Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society? v.1

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society? v. 1
There is no doubt that social status and respect play an important role in people’s life. However, in some areas nowadays citizens have a lack of respect to seniors. Personally, I think that this behaviour has some underlying reasons and it can lead to several serious problems in society, so I will explore these aspects in the following essay. Firstly, the technical development can be one of the main reasons. In fact, children are mad about new computers and mobile phones, so they use it almost everywhere. They spend their free time chatting with friends and reading articles from unreliable sources. Consequently, these kids are sure that they know everything and it is unnecessary to listen to an unsolisited advice from old people. The second problem occurs in families when parents do not pay much attention on their kids. Basically, without strong bounds between parents and children it is impossible to bring up a noble and a reasonable person. As a result, such people take bad habits and bad ways of behaviour that transform into lack of respect. After a while these reasons lead to social problems. The first problem can be defined as a gap between young generations and old people. It means that for inhabitants it would be much harder to communicate and interact, because individuals would have different views and beliefs. Therefore, teenagers wouldn’t give a sit in the public transport for others, which is a common situation in my city. The other problem relates to the health of seniors. It is undeniable that good and friendly environment makes people feel better, so without help, support and respect from the side life expectancy will significantly reduce. To draw the conclusion, I am sure that some contemporary reasons contribute to this problem, which later lead to social problems, that I described in my essay.
There is no doubt that social status and respect play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas nowadays citizens have a lack of respect to seniors.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
underlying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and it can lead to several serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will explore these aspects in the following essay.

Firstly
, the technical development can be one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. In fact, children are mad about new computers and mobile phones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it almost everywhere. They spend their free time chatting with friends and reading articles from unreliable sources.
Consequently
, these kids are sure that they know everything and it is unnecessary to listen to an
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsolisited
advice from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
occurs in families when parents do not pay much attention on their kids.
Basically
, without strong bounds between parents and children it is impossible to bring up a noble and a reasonable person.
As a result
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ways of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
that transform into lack of respect.

After a while these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
lead to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be defined
as a gap between young generations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It means that for inhabitants it would be much harder to communicate and interact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
individuals would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views and beliefs.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
wouldn’t give a sit in the public transport for others, which is a common situation in my city. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
relates to the health of seniors. It is undeniable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and friendly environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, support and respect from the side life expectancy will
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.

To draw the conclusion, I am sure that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contemporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
contribute to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, which later lead to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in my essay.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts