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In many countries today, people in cities live alone or in small family units, rather than family groups. v.2

In many countries today, people in cities live alone or in small family units, rather than family groups. v. 2
It is true that people in modern world nowadays tend to stay by their own or in nuclear families. From my perspective, this phenomenon has both advantage and drawbacks. On the one hand, the raise of smaller households is advantageous due to several reasons. Firstly, in individual scale, people who live alone will be more mature, independent and self-reliant compared to those who stay with family members. Because of the self-catering life, they have more opportunities to expose to the outside society and gain various soft-skills throughout real experiences in different situations. For example, students who live in campus have to do household chores by themselves and learn to manage their budget which are all valuable life skills. Secondly, in economic scale, this trend is a perfect adaptation to the shortage of accommodations in mega cities. The migration of people from rural to urban areas burden on the household stocks which has been an unsolvable problem in cities. If they do not want to endure squalid housing condition, therefore, it is obviously necessary to live alone or in small groups. On the other hand, there are negative aspects of this trend. With the mass population shift to big cities, ties of kinship are broken as the extended family in countryside is broken up. As a result, reunions will take place only occasionally and the family budget can not be shared with other inmates living under the same roof. For instance, grandparents can support with children-carring, cooking and household expenditure which will help young parents save time and money to balance between work and house. Furthermore, people who live alone may experience the feeling of loneliness, worry and isolation. They miss out the daily conservation between family members and lack of emotional support which is essential especially in stressful period. In conclusion, I think that positive and negative impacts of the increase in the number of small households are equal due to both individual and social reasons.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in modern world nowadays tend to stay by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. From my perspective, this phenomenon has both advantage and drawbacks.

On the one hand, the raise of smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
is advantageous due to several reasons.
Firstly
, in individual scale,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone will be more mature, independent and self-reliant compared to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stay with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the self-catering life, they have more opportunities to expose to the outside society and gain various soft-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
throughout real experiences in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations.
For example
, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in campus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores by themselves and learn to manage their budget which are all valuable life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, in economic scale, this trend is a perfect adaptation to the shortage of accommodations in mega cities. The migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural to urban areas burden on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
stocks which has been an unsolvable problem in cities. If they do not want to endure squalid housing condition,
therefore
, it is
obviously
necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
groups.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this trend. With the mass population shift to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, ties of kinship
are broken
as the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in countryside
is broken
up.
As a result
, reunions will take place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occasionally
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
budget can not
be shared
with other inmates living under the same roof.
For instance
, grandparents can support with
Possible spelling mistake found.
children-carring
, cooking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
expenditure which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young parents save time and money to balance between work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone may experience the feeling of loneliness, worry and isolation. They miss out the daily conservation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and lack of emotional support which is essential
especially
in stressful period.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of the increase in the number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
are equal due to both individual and social reasons.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, people in cities live alone or in small family units, rather than family groups. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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