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In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend? v.2

There is an argument that centers on a number of people in the world nowadays living in a small group of family members rather than consists of large families by which to have beneficial or detrimental effects. Even though having huge family members have many favourable effects, in my opinion, I believe this phenomenon in current society brings out more positive impacts. On the one hand, of course, there are several benefits of being as one of a large and expanded family member than living a single life. Essentially speaking, people who have a large family, specifically living together in a one building or a house, they may not a sense of loneliness which people who live alone experience almost every day. They always surrounded with the closest people in their whole life to highly support them or could chat with them to get help easily in any issues they faced and even share all activities together such as eating every meal. Additionally, the independent living, a nuclear family might feel isolated when they have an emergency situation or having an urgent trouble, they could not get help immediately. Consequently, our society will dying since member of family is going smaller and became more individualistic, this will make more city with poor quality. Take Seoul, the capital city of Korea as an example, there are a lot of a small group of people living in Seoul because of their career or for continuing their study, however, the problem is people lived too independence which even some of them feel strong loneliness in the cold city lead the worst results of take one's own life. On the other hand, I highly believe that living alone or having a two or three family members would have more beneficial features. First and foremost, as a single life feel more freely to do everything during stayed at home than living together someone. An excellent illlustration of this is on the work in a house such as wash the dishes, do the laundry or prepare for meals can be a matter if the expanded family live together, they must do that all things immediately or even they do not want to, however people who live alone does not matter since no one told them to do so, they can organise their schedule whatever they want. On top of that, in a small family group of people share their interests more closely. They can concentrate only a few people to care about, allows more talking to each other deeply and their minds would be stable especially for the children. Last but not least, it is much better for the children living with a smaller family because they needed parent's concerns about them all the time. If they have a number of sibilings or senior members in their family that their parents take care of, parent could miss something while raising their kids while take care others. In conclusion, although living with extended family has some advantages, in my point-of-view, I am convinced that a nuclear family seemed to have more favourable outcomes in the modern sosiety.
There is an argument that centers on a number of
people
in the world nowadays
living
in a
small
group of
family
members
rather
than consists of large
families
by which to have beneficial or detrimental effects.
Even though
having huge
family
members
have
many
favourable
effects, in my opinion, I believe this phenomenon in
current
society brings out more
positive
impacts.

On the one hand,
of course
, there are several benefits of being as one of a large and expanded
family
member
than
living
a single life.
Essentially
speaking,
people
who have a large
family
,
specifically
living
together in a one building or a
house
, they may not a sense of loneliness which
people
who
live
alone experience almost every day. They always surrounded with the closest
people
in their whole life to
highly
support them or could chat with them to
get
help
easily
in any issues they faced and even share all activities together such as eating every meal.
Additionally
, the independent
living
, a nuclear
family
might feel isolated when they have an emergency situation or having an urgent trouble, they could not
get
help
immediately.
Consequently
, our society will
dying
since
member
of
family
is going smaller and became more individualistic, this will
make
more city with poor quality. Take Seoul, the capital city of Korea as an example, there are
a lot of
a
small
group of
people
living
in Seoul
because
of their career or for continuing their study,
however
, the problem is
people
lived
too independence which even
some
of them feel strong loneliness in the
cold
city lead the worst results of take one's
own
life.

On the other hand
, I
highly
believe that
living
alone or having a two or three
family
members
would have more beneficial features.
First
and foremost, as a single life feel more
freely
to do everything during stayed at home than
living
together someone. An excellent
illlustration
of this is on the work in a
house
such as wash the dishes, do the laundry or prepare for meals can be a matter if the expanded
family
live
together, they
must
do that all things immediately or even they do not want to,
however
people
who
live
alone does not matter since no one
told
them to do
so
, they can
organise
their schedule whatever they want.
On top of that
, in a
small
family
group of
people
share their interests more
closely
. They can concentrate
only
a few
people
to care about,
allows
more talking to each other
deeply
and their minds would be stable
especially
for the children. Last
but
not least, it is much better for the children
living
with a smaller
family
because
they needed parent's concerns about them all the time. If they have a number of
sibilings
or senior
members
in their
family
that their parents take care of, parent could miss something while raising their kids while take care others.

In conclusion
, although
living
with extended
family
has
some
advantages, in my point-of-view, I
am convinced
that a nuclear
family
seemed to have more
favourable
outcomes in the modern
sosiety
.
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The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
520 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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