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Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.8

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 8
Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Nowadays, in several nations, globe-trotting plays a vital importance in enhancing the national budget. Some argue that this sector should be motivated, whereas others concern about its potential drawbacks. I believe that despite having some advantages, its negative effects should not be ignored. The contribution of tourism to the gross national product is undeniable. Firstly, the tourism industry creates a plethora of job opportunities for the inhabitants, resulting in a higher income for local households. The more salary they get, the more tax they pay to the government, which then increases the nation‘s total revenue. Secondly, visitors also enrich the economy by fostering the exchange of goods and services between buyers and sellers. This can be explained clearly that a vast number of recreational services are opened just to meet the relaxing demand of travellers, by which attract the largest amount of foreign currency for local regions. Despite huge pros, tourism does exist in several negative aspects, one of them is the environmental issue. Expat travellers can take a toll on the native environment by littering unconsciously in public places, leading to land pollution, which is detrimental to the nearby citizen‘s overall health. It is bittering truth that a large number of stunning beaches in the southern part of Viet Nam have been heavily damaged by the trash from local tourist activities and thus the number of people suffering from chronic illnesses like Alzheimer or hypertension stemmed from pollution has been dramatically gone up in the last five years. Another worrying issue is the stress on insufficient infrastructure. The dramatic influx of people visiting major local events makes it unable for local government to fully prepare accommodation. Without sufficient planning, touristy can put a strain on local facilities All things considered, tourism is a key factor in the development of a nation due to its financial benefits. However, I suppose that some downsides should be carefully considered to boost the sustainable economy in the long run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
is becoming
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as a source of revenue to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its disadvantages should not
be overlooked
. To what extent do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree?

Nowadays, in several nations, globe-trotting plays a vital importance in enhancing the national budget.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that this sector should
be motivated
, whereas others concern about its potential drawbacks. I believe that despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

The contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
to the gross national product is undeniable.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry creates a plethora of job opportunities for the inhabitants, resulting in a higher income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
households. The more salary they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
, the more tax they pay to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which then increases the nation‘s total revenue.
Secondly
, visitors
also
enrich the economy by fostering the exchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services between buyers and sellers. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
clearly
that a vast number of recreational services
are opened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the relaxing demand of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
, by which attract the largest amount of foreign currency for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
regions.

Despite huge pros,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
does exist in several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects, one of them is the environmental issue. Expat
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can take a toll on the native environment by littering
unconsciously
in public places, leading to land pollution, which is detrimental to the nearby citizen‘s
overall
health. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
bittering
truth that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
stunning beaches in the southern part of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam have been
heavily
damaged by the trash from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
tourist activities and
thus
the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from chronic illnesses like Alzheimer or hypertension stemmed from pollution has been
dramatically
gone up in the last five years.

Another worrying issue is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on insufficient infrastructure. The dramatic influx of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it unable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
fully
prepare accommodation. Without sufficient planning, touristy can put a strain on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
facilities


All things considered,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is a key factor in the development of a nation due to its financial benefits.
However
, I suppose that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides should be
carefully
The verb 'considered' is used with the gerund form: "considered boosting".
considered to boost
the sustainable economy in the long run
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 8

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
353 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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