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Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion. v.1

Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. v. 1
There is no doubt that the locality in which a person lives should always be kept clean. While some people think that maintaining these areas is the responsibility of the government, I would argue that it is also the duty of the dwellers to keep their surroundings clean. On the one hand, people who believe the authorities should manage the cleanliness of all the residential areas might argue that they pay taxes to the government, and consequently, they are entitled to avail these facilities. They opine that their taxes must be utilised by the government to provide better living standards to all the inhabitants and not for any other use. For example, if a person is paying 30% of his annual salary as tax, he will expect that ultimately its benefit should be given to them by the bureaucrats by looking into the matter of cleanliness of their locality, so that, they do not have to pay more money to any other worker to maintain that area because they had already paid for it in the form of taxes. On the other hand, I believe that one should take the initiative to do things yourself because a government worker will do it as a duty because he will be paid for it, but conversely, the residents would know the area and its problems in a better way. Hence, their helping hand is quite crucial in such matters. For instance, a garbage collection van would not collect a localities' waste, if all the dwellers do not take the responsibility to take out their household garbage and accumulate together at one place. Therefore, I think that a government cannot work properly if it does not get the co-operation of the local residents, and hence, each person's initiative is inevitable. In conclusion, while some people think that it is the government's responsibility to maintain the household localities, I firmly believe the for smooth running of the authorities' works, each individual should understand and complete their duties.
There is no doubt that the locality in which a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
should always be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
clean. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that maintaining these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, I would argue that it is
also
the duty of the dwellers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their surroundings clean.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe the authorities should manage the cleanliness of all the residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
might argue that they pay taxes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, and
consequently
, they
are entitled
to avail these facilities. They opine that their taxes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide better living standards to all the inhabitants and not for any other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
For example
, if a person is paying 30% of his annual salary as tax, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that
ultimately
its benefit should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them by the bureaucrats by looking into the matter of cleanliness of their locality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more money to any other worker to maintain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had already paid for it in the form of taxes.

On the other hand
, I believe that one should take the initiative to do things yourself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
worker will do it as a duty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he will
be paid
for it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
conversely
, the residents would know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and its problems in a better way.
Hence
, their helping hand is quite crucial in such matters.

For instance
, a garbage collection van would not collect a localities' waste, if all the dwellers do not take the responsibility to take out their household garbage and accumulate together at one place.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot work
properly
if it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the co-operation of the local residents, and
hence
, each person's initiative is inevitable.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility to maintain the household localities, I
firmly
believe the for smooth running of the authorities' works, each individual should understand and complete their duties.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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