Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries, there is no access to education for children in remote villages/communities. Some people believe that the best solution is to provide teachers and schools. Others think computer and internet connection is better selection. Discuss both v.1

In many countries, there is no access to education for children in remote villages/communities. Some people believe that the best solution is to provide teachers and schools. Others think computer and internet connection is better selection. 1
It is true that the advanced technology and the development of transport system made it possible for people to do jobs and live in any part of the world. While, certainly this trend has some disadvantages, I believe that the benefits of this system outweigh the limitations. The main advantage of living and working in other parts of the world, except the host areas. They have a chance to explore the new cultures, perspectives and the ways of living of the other people. This not only help them to broaden their horizon of understanding, but also become more open minded. Moreover, they get a chance to learn and go through the different languages. To illustrate, reports showed that the people who live in other regions, easily speak two or three languages. Apart from this, they can get a better standard of living and comfortable environment for working and living, which they do not find in their host countries. On the other hand, the main disadvantage of live in other countries or in abroad for work is the feeling of loneliness, especially in the initial periods. People may feel homesick, when they live far away from their relatives and friends. Even though, the technology makes it easy to communicate with anyone by using mobile phones, social sites, such as Facebook, Skype and so on, these methods never replace face to face communication. In addition, if people do not have an efficient proficiency over the foreign languages, they find difficulty in communication with co-workers and others. Thus, this language barriers are the one of the reasons for feeling alone. In conclusion, although there are some demerits of shifting in other areas, such as homesickness and communication problems, I believe that the advantages are more in number of this trend, namely learn about the new cultures, languages and can get a good standard of living.
It is true that the advanced technology and the development of transport system made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in any part of the world. While,
certainly
this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I believe that the benefits of this system outweigh the limitations.

The main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world, except the host areas. They have a chance to explore the new cultures, perspectives and the ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to broaden their horizon of understanding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
become more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to learn and go through the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. To illustrate, reports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions,
easily
speak two or three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Apart from this, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and comfortable environment for working and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
, which they do not find in their host countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the main disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries or in abroad for work is the feeling of loneliness,
especially
in the initial periods.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may feel homesick, when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
far away from their relatives and friends.
Even though
, the technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy to communicate with anyone by using mobile phones, social sites, such as Facebook, Skype and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, these methods never replace face to face communication.
In addition
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have an efficient proficiency over the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, they find difficulty in communication with co-workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Thus
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barriers are the one of the reasons for feeling alone.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits of shifting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas, such as homesickness and communication problems, I believe that the advantages are more in number of this trend,
namely
learn about the new cultures,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, there is no access to education for children in remote villages/communities. Some people believe that the best solution is to provide teachers and schools. Others think computer and internet connection is better selection. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts